Soccer Page 413 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Another Senseless Streaking Tragedy
Nathan Roberts is a player on the Virginia B Grade Australian soccer team, but is sidelined due to "fluid in his lungs, pneumonia and an inflamed liver and spleen." This didn't stop him from streaking at a recent match between United and Hummocks Watchman Eagles, however. Watch the fun here as Robe...
Soccer Moms Care Nothing Of Your Missing Ear Excuses
This lad here is Erek Brown, appearing on one of those family court shows with his mom. His complaint: Mom made him play soccer even though his ear was partially bitten off by a dog. Mom: "He was the star player. The team would have lost without him." Judge Penny: "But his ear was bitten off!" Mom: ...
Four More Years
Michael Bertin writes about soccer regularly for Deadspin. I'm big into self-preservation, so if I'm in the path of a hurricane—which having been temporarily relocated to Houston, I am (or was)—it's not going to take much cable news fear-mongering to get me to evacuate. And that's the story of how I...
A Red Card Seems Somehow Inadequate
In America we have a gentlemen's agreement that magic will not be used to gain an advantage in pro sporting events (although Belichick may be cheating). But not so in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where they're casting spells all over the place to try and win soccer games. And suddenly Terrell O...
Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...
Rearranging the World Order
Michael Bertin writes about soccer for Deadspin World Cup qualifying in Europe is too easy. I know that sounds ridiculous given some of the results over the weekend—France losing to Austria, Italy needing stoppage time to nip Cyrpus, and England being rescued against Andorra (again) by five inspire...
USMNT Travels to Cuba, No Defections Are Expected
The US Men's National Soccer Team will play on Cuban soil for the first time in over 60 years in tonight's World Cup qualifier. Given the fact that the communist nation hasn't qualified since 1982 and recently their best players have defected with ease it should come as little surprise that the Ame...
Arms Race Gets Second and Larger Arm
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Meet the new world power in soccer, the United Arab Emirates. Actually as people, they suck at the game. The national side is currently 104th (out of 208) in FIFA's World Rankings. But the Emirates have something more important than athletic ...
It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig
Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried t...
Whatever Happened to a Good Old Fashioned Headbutt?
Score one for the extraordinarily thin-skinned. A judge in Naples, Italy recently awarded 1500 Euro to a fan of the Napoli Football Club for "existential damages" he incurred while attending a match against Inter Milan. The cause of the damages? Banners. But not just any banners. Banners that made l...
Roman Abramovich's Fantasy Football Team Is Better Than Yours
Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. F...
They Must Be Coming By Sea
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Arsene Wenger would have made a good captain for the Titanic. That has less to do with any nautical skills that he may or may not have, than it does with hubris. This is an Arsenal side he has claimed in print has the ability ...
City Wins Big Despite Losing Richards, Deco Is the Difference For Chelsea
Manchester City's 3-0 drubbing of woeful West Ham was marred early in the second half when Micah Richards went down with a head injury after a midair collision with new teammate Tal Ben Haim. City's young star was treated by medical personnel on the pitch before being taken away on a stretcher. Aft...
Deadspin Interview: ESPNsoccernet's Lindsey Dolich
Lindsey Dolich has been documenting women's soccer for ESPNsoccernet and ESPN the Magazine in a freelance manner for about a year and has been the Ron Jaworski of these Olympics, breaking down each strategy and player in a highly detailed fashion that is instantly accessible to the casual soccer fa...
The Spurs Could Really Use a Hug Right Now
Tottenham took to the pitch this morning without the services of Dimitar Berbatov for the second straight week, and once again they failed to secure a single point. The frustrated Bulgarian striker wasn't even in attendance to watch his (soon to be former) teammates drop a 2-1 decision against Sund...
Argentina Live Up to Their Gold Medal Aspirations
Argentina's men's basketball team may have come up short against the United States, but their heavily favored soccer team laid claim to a gold medal of their own. Angel Di Maria's chip shot past Ambrose Vanzekin was all the Argentines needed to defeat Nigeria in a brilliantly contested Olympic gold...
Tom Brady Is Secretly Fuming
Why, gaygolddigers.com? Why was I left off the list yet again? Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo was named Ultimate Gay Icon by the web site, beating, as Goal.com put it, "stiff competition from celebrities such as Kylie Minogue, Elton John and David Beckham." Hmm. Personally I think th...
Tell Us How You Really Feel, Mates
The place: London, England. The sport: Nonleague soccer. The opponents: Welling United and Maidstone United. The situation: The goalie (not sure which team) has just allowed a soft goal, causing fans to spell out their displeasure in no uncertain terms. It really is ingenious, but may also be NSFW, ...
A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...
Welcome to England, Monsieur Nasri
The English Premier League's new season is officially underway, and newcomer Samir Nasri has already made his mark with Arsenal. The dynamic young Frenchman scored the Gunners lone goal in this morning's (lunchtime over there) first match against newly promoted West Bromwich Albion. Arsenal dominat...