Soccer Page 414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...

Welcome to England, Monsieur Nasri
The English Premier League's new season is officially underway, and newcomer Samir Nasri has already made his mark with Arsenal. The dynamic young Frenchman scored the Gunners lone goal in this morning's (lunchtime over there) first match against newly promoted West Bromwich Albion. Arsenal dominat...

Michael Bertin Is Your New Closer
Unfortunately, we could not wrestle away previous soccer mom David Hirshey from his other "job" even though we offered him a drum full of mustache balm and unreleased nude photos of Pele to continue with us. The man simply wouldn't budge. No fear, though, because your weekly footie fix will be fille...

As the Season Looms Clubs Look to Reload
Whether or not you can believe it, the English Premier League season is right around the corner. While tomorrow's Community Shield match between league champions Manchester United and the FA Cup winners from Portsmouth marks the unofficial opening of the ten-month season the official matches begin ...

Bayern Munich Unveils New Soccer Uniforms With Models and Techno Dance
Sometimes we think that American sports teams have lost all grip with reality. Then we get a video like this from Europe. Honestly, I'm almost speechless. My favorite thing from this video, and there are many, is the photographers jostling with one another to get the perfect shot. If you were a phot...

Trouser Snakes On A Plane
Remember that scene in Airplane where everyone starts freaking out that the pilots are sick and then, pow, some topless chick runs right in front of the camera? That was the first time I ever saw an unclothed pair of boobies in cinema ... while watching it with my parents. They didn't realize that w...

World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...

MLS Player Leaves Soccer Headed to Priesthood
Yep, American soccer has arrived. And I say that as a big soccer fan. Chase Hilgenbrinck, a reserve defender for the New England Revolution, is retiring at the age of 26 to enter a Maryland seminary. Hilgenbrinck will spend six years at the seminary before he can become a priest. Per the AP....

Soccer Players + Technology = Hilarious Blunders
This is Ashley-Paul Robinson, a 19-year-old winger for London's Crystal Palace. Like many 19-year-olds, he has a Facebook page. And also like many 19-year-olds, he posted something there about his latest job search. Problem is, it was details of a secret negotiation with another team. Oops....

Spanish Bombs
“Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito yo te quiero oh mi corazón Spanish bombs, yo te quiero infinito yo te quiero oh mi corazón” – “Spanish Bombs”, The Clash...

Here Kid, Have A Mercedes
So there's this occupation in European soccer called boot boy, which is a kind of apprenticeship in which a young player does chores around the clubhouse (so I'm told). The pay is low, but I hear the tips are fabulous. This item is a couple of weeks old, but it's the first I've heard of it: Birmingh...

The Post Is Certain To Experience Technical Difficulties
“It's like how much more black could this be? And the answer is none, none more black.” – Nigel Tufnel...

Is There Any Way Turkey Pulls Off The Upset?
Forgive me if my memory from that night in Frankfurt, Germany two years ago is a little hazy. It definitely included conversations with members of Germany’s Stampede Wrestling Federation. And yes, the Gypsy Kings, “Volare” blared over the speakers on repeat. There may or may not have been an appear...

Still Dancing In Turkey
“I don’t believe … what I just saw.” – Jack Buck, 1988 World Series Game 1, after Kirk Gibson’s walk off home run off Dennis Eckersley....

Spain vs. Italy: Extra Time
We're back live after a short intermission before the beginning of extra time. We're in for another thirty minutes of this, so get comfortable. Spain has already been peppering Italy with shots, but nothing is making its way to the goal. Silva just fired a rocket wide that would have sent chills th...

Spain vs. Italy: Second Half
Holy crap, that first half was painful to watch. Sure I may not be a fan of Italy to begin with, but the flops and questionable challenges are sucking the quality right out of the game. To their credit they play stifling defense, but it's not exactly fan-friendly. Hopefully the second half will open...

Spain vs. Italy: First Half
Welcome to the final quarterfinal match of Uefa 2008. Spain and Italy are set to kick things off in Vienna with the winner moving on to face Russia in the semifinals. The Spaniards are slightly favored over the defending World Cup champions, but all three favorites have been sent home over the last ...

Netherlands vs. Russia Extra Time Live Blog
Here we go, two 15 minute periods of overtime action. If the match is still tied after that, it's on to penalties (but let's hope it doesn't come to that). Continue after the jump for live commentary and updates....

Netherlands vs. Russia: First Half
We're already half way through the first knockout stage of Euro 2008, and we'll be treated to another fantastic match. The Dutch side enters looking all but invincible after some explosive play in the group stage, but the Russians surely won't be rolling over. Well they might, but then Putin would ...

They're Still Partying In Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
Turkey entered the knockout stage of Euro 2008 as the biggest underdog in the field, but yesterday they moved through to the semifinals in electrifying fashion. It appeared to be over for the Turks (especially to ESPN's Gamecaster) when Croatia's Ivan Klasnić netted a header to break the scoreless ...