Soccer Page 415 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brazilian Soccer Coach Pulls A Woody Hayes
Santilli's team was losing 1-0 on Sunday when he ran out on to the field to retrieve a loose ball, but as he returned to the sideline he decided to lower his shoulder into a player for the opposing team for no reason whatsoever. (Because he was brushed on the shoulder by a 60-year-old man, the playe...

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

How Does This Help Us Play Soccer Again?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Kiss Cam Makes The Ladies Wet
These happy, affectionate Hamburg fans are just minding their own business, grinning eerily, picking each other up, and sharing a kiss to celebrate their favorite team's goal against Manchester City, as is the German custom, when BAM - beer to the head. The German commitment to austerity is commenda...

Soccer Player Receives Yellow Card For Farting
A Chorlton Villa footballer "broke wind" during a penalty kick and received a yellow card for his efforts. (And the other team got a re-kick.) When did they change the "he who smelt it" rule? [BBC]...

The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...

The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

Pele "Debuted" With A "Lad"
In response to attacks about his coaching ability, Argentine coach Diego Maradona says soccer legend Pele lost his virginity to a man. [Goal.com]...

Brazilian Soccer Players Are Pretty In Pink
Here we have one Jairo, a midfielder for the Brazilian club Figueirense, who has ... wait a minute. Isn't it a little early to be rolling out the spring wardrobe?...

You Should See The Lingerie Department
Say that you're a low-level pro soccer player in Italy, and a fashion designer offers to let you live in a luxury apartment for free. One catch: It's in the storefront window of a boutique....

Everybody Loves The Underdog
Fulham are leading Manchester United 1-0 at halftime. I'm told this is unexpected, but that's what they get for benching Rooney and Tevez. Scholes was sent off in the 18th minute for being old. [ESPN]...

Seattle Finally Gets Something To Cheer For
The brand-new Seattle Sounders won the first game of their first season to kick off the year for Major League Soccer. They will be relocating to Austin in June. [Seattle Times; pic via]...

Major League Soccer Needs A Better Calendar
The MLS regular season begins Thursday. This Thursday. The one day of the year when even the most clueless sports fans will do unconscionable things to avoid thinking about anything non-basketball related. [ESPN]...

Iraqi Soccer Player Murdered During A Game
An Iraqi striker was shot in the head by a spectator just as he was about to score a game-tying goal against a rival. Holy crap. [BBC]...

Streaker Fail: This Should About End This Activity, One Hopes
Not only was this streaker at an English association soccer match in Manchester subdued by a female security guard, but he was also mocked by the crowd for "severe shrinkage." Ouch. [Bury Times]...

Tall Order For Soccer-Playing Waitress
A 22-year-old waitress from Watsonville, Calif. with little playing experience is among tryout finalists for the FC Gold Pride, one of seven teams in the new Women's Professional Soccer league. [San Jose Mercury]...

Red Bull Gives You Product Placement
A German footballer gets in trouble for turning his goal celebration into an advertisement for Red Bull. Because advertising should only be done on jerseys, shoes, balls, fields, seats, every available blank space... [The Spoiler]...