Soccer Page 420 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Henry, Croatian Soccer Hero
Interpreting this post's title, one might assume that Tony Henry, pictured, scored the game-winning goal in Croatia's crucial Euro 2008 defeat of England. Nope. Tony Henry doesn't even play soccer. He's a British opera singer. And thanks to a small gaffe, a new Croatian hero....

Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....

The Jews Bail Out The Brits
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

New England Finally Lost (At Something)
Well it's not the Patriots, but hey, it's still fun watching the Revolution twist in the wind. For the second consecutive year the Houston Dynamo are champions of Major League Soccer at the expense of the perpetual also-rans from New England....

Bicyclists Who Don't Date Olsen Twins
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

MLS Exhibition Livened Up By Naked Man
This is from last night's exhibition match between the Los Angeles Galaxy and Vancouver Whitecaps. Honestly, if we were a security guard, you couldn't pay us enough to tackle that guy....

Fabregasted!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Let's just say I was due. If Martina Hingis had wandered onto my London flight naked and slathered in Toblerone, rocking a gram of cocaine and offering to induct me into her Mile High Club, I still would have been due. It wasn't even the hour...

And Jesus Said, Turn The Other Cheek
Two surprising things about this item: 1. It didn't happen in Long Island, and 2. It wasn't featured in any of the Porky's movies. Other than that, hey, I stopped being shocked at the antics of youth sports parents and coaches long ago....

Others Must Fail
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. I can't remember whether it was Gore Vidal or Big Daddy Drew who first uttered the line, "it's not enough to succeed, others must fail." I can't even remember who he was referring to, but I like to imagine it was my Spurs friend Relegation Zo...

An Easy Way For Athletes To Make Money In Europe
Apparently, the English Premier League doesn't get nearly as worked up about players gambling on their own sports as we prudish Americans do....

Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest
Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for be...

Great Moments In Sports Agentry
The man pictured here is Claude Makelele, a midfielder for the Chelsea soccer team. He's married to some model named Noemie Lenoir; we think that's her in the photo, though honestly we have no idea. Anyway, another model says she's being having an affair with him. Who cares, right? Well, check out M...

Mopping Up Chelsea's Mess
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Patriots. Red Sox. Boston College. You just can't stop ANY of them. As if Massachusetts sports fans didn't have enough to tout, New England Revolution midfielder Michael Parkhurst scored his first career goal ... from midfield. Here's video proof that Jesus is simply engrossed in a month-long chowde...

The Ugly American Watches Futbol
Kristen Pettit is a book editor — actually, she's our book editor — and took a trip to Buenos Aires last week, where she witnessed the glory of a La Boca soccer game. Her amusing report from the front lines is after the jump....

Maybe Somebody Did This To Schilling's Ankle, And It Backfired
For years, we have been fascinated by the idea of using voodoo on players who are opposing our team. If we could have stuck a little pin in the forearm of Sean May during the 2005 NCAA Championship Game, we would have done so. Nothing to cause him any permanent problems, but just enough to mess with...

Thing Is, You Can't Use Your Hands
Generally speaking, corporate sponsorships of sports franchises make us uncomfortable and a little depressed; we know soccer fans are used to it, but we'll never quite adjust to seeing to seeing big corporation logos on the front of jerseys. But there are exceptions....

You Scousers Are Fooling Yourselves
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

They Call Them the Red Devils Because They're Evil
The story of the day out of the Premier League comes from Manchester where the mighty Red Devils took over the top spot on the table with a 4-0 dismantling of Wigan Athletic. Granted, it's a slow day in England, where just two games were played due to midweek European competitions. All of Manchester...