Soccer Page 430 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joey Barton's Action-Packed Minute Of Fun
We took a little longer than probably was appropriate to post this, but, once Soccernista explained it for us, there was no way to avoid talking about Man City's Joey Parton and his one minute of karma bungee jumping....

Hirshey: We Like Our Ukrainians FLAMING!
David Hirshey, now able to eat during daylight hours again, writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

In Hell, Mascots Look Like This
Hey, Euro 2008 officials have ripped off Woody Woodpecker! And made him gay! As The Mighty MJD mentioned over the weekend, Austria and Switzerland, co-hosts of Euro 2008, rolled out their new mascots on Sunday. The two countries had their finest cartoonists labor for more than two years to come up...

Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 1-1 Manchester City. Rough day for Everton fans. First, they saw City defender Micah Richards steal a win from them with a goal in the 4th minute of injury time. Then Richards gave a profane television interview. Then City midfielder Joey Barton showed Everton fans his ass. The police ar...

Hirshey Quickie: Soccer Cheerleaders In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....

Today In The Premiership...
• Man City 2-0 West Ham. Crazy things can happen when you let a Greek guy run wild in "Man City." Georgios Samaras, the Greek national in whom City invested heavily, finally came through with a big performance today. Samaras scored twice against West Ham, busting City out of a bit of a slump....

Oh. So THAT'S A Bung
The big "shocking" report from the BBC about a brewing soccer scandal in Europe has finally aired, and it turns out that the problem is ... bungs!...

This, This Is Why We Lose
So USA soccer "superstar" Landon Donovan was asked whether or not he thought he would be a better player if he was in Europe rather than the MLS. His response was curious....

Today In The Premiership...
• Charlton 1-0 Portsmouth. You know who's the best team in the Premiership? Portsmouth. Alright, probably not, but... they're at the top of the table right now. They got there by beating Charlton 1-0 today courtesty of a 73rd minute goal from the awesomely-named Lomana Tresor LuaLua. They add this t...

Smiles, Everyone! Smiles!
As we mentioned Tuesday, FIFA president Sepp Bladder wants to get Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane together on an island for a final reconcilliation concerning the infamous World Cup head-butting incident. But after a full 24 hours of being mocked by the British tabloids, this crackpot scheme may...

They Might Want To Think About Whether Or Not They Should Rehire That Ref
So you might have heard about the ballboy who scores a goal for his soccer team and the refs inexplicably count it, but until you've actually seen it, you can't really appreciate the ludicrousness of it....

Hirshey Quickie: And Just For Kicks, Bring Your Sister
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Hirshey: Sweetness And Light In The Prem
David Hirshey writes weekly about the Premiership for Deadspin....

Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...

Do Toilets Burn Darker?
Remember back when we told you about the soccer fans in Brazil who were setting fire to portable toilets? Well, The Offside, the soccer blog who mentioned it initally, thinks it has footage of the burning, though the evidence appears to be "portable toilets probably produce blacker smoke."...

Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...

Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...

Collect Your Miniature Violent Soccer Fans
See, here's an idea we can get behind. A British toy company is producing Little Hooliganz, actions figures of the crazed fans of each of the English Premiership teams. You've got Terrible Henry from Arsenal, Dangerous Dirk from Chelsea and Ard Man Aaron from Newcastle. For those who prefer their so...

Hirshey: Arsenal's Impotence
David Hirshey writes about the English Premier League for Deadspin....