Soccer Page 436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's An Awkward Angle, But Its Not THAT Awkward
"It doesn't have to be picture-perfect, just get it in the goal," says the MLS announcer. How about we make our goals a little more modest, and settle for keeping it in the stadium?...
The Danes Like To Punch
If the Second War of Schleswig taught us anything, it's that the Danish lack problem-solving skills. Yesterday, during a Euro 2008 qualifier, a Danish player punched a Swedish player in the stomach, and was, of course, red-carded and sent off. Apparently feeling like it should be perfectly legal to ...
David Beckham Is British Again
I thought we bought this guy. $250 million, and he doesn't even play for us? We got ripped off....
Remembering 2005, And Some Payback (Kind Of)
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
We Still Can't Find The Name Kaka In the Bible
Would it surprise you to learn that right now we are wearing the exact same shirt as our friend, Kaka, above? In addition to the gift of spiritual peace and salvation, we will be quickly returned to Jesus if we are ever lost or stolen. So we have that going for us....
A Gruesome End To All That
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Mr. Gourcuff Is A Team Player
It's been kind of a slow day (other than the hockey, which has been awesome ... so I'm told), so why not end things with a picture of a French guy who looks like he's about to go down on his AC Milan teammate. The official caption:...
Chelsea Are Your FA Champions
It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack."...
Come Out To Kinsale Tavern!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Sophia Loren Antes Up A Couple Of Years Late
We are no strangers here to certain women who promise to remove certain clothing items if other certain things happen in the world of sports. Anyone who followed the SHOTY competition knows exactly what we mean. We get our hopes up and what happens? Heartache, nothing but heartache!...
The New (Old) Mind Behind US Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
When They Think About You ...
Last year, MJD told you about the special World Cup vibrators named after German "stars" Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn, which promised to make women feel "'like you've won the world cup of sex," which hopefully doesn't involve a head butt....
Today In The Premiership: Saying Goodbye To Sheffield United
After a day like today, it's hard not to love the relegation/promotion system employed by the international soccer community. The championship's decided, yet this final weekend was still the most exciting one of the season, and now, we'll get to bonus excitement of some stoppage time in the legal sy...
Kicking It Old School
This occurred on Monday; but it's from Sweden, and it's soccer ... in other words, you're lucky you're seeing it this soon. They're calling it The Greatest Goal Ever Scored, and we can't argue. Of course if they called it The Most Routine Goal Ever Scored we couldn't argue with that either. Get the ...
We Wouldn't Believe Him If He Were Bleeding Like Nash
The most common complaint Americans have toward soccer is that the players are always flopping and diving and pretending like they're hurt. (One guy even tried to lamely defend it.) The flipside, and the side in which we can find a modicum of joy, is that the more a player earns a reputation for div...
Dancing On Chelsea's Grave
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Premiership Title Gift-Wrapped For Manchester United
Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied....
Today In The Premiership...
• Man City 0-1 Man Utd. The derby win means that Chelsea has to beat Arsenal tomorrow, or Manchester United clinches the Premiership title. I realize that this is somber news for the Manchester United haters, so I offer this as well:...
That Counts As A Penalty?
You know, if you can't mock a foreign soccer player for smelling bad, jeez, what can you do?...
Officiating Roundup: Kingsley Gets A Red Card
Poor Kingsley. Even though he has the wise foresight to wear pants, the mascot was still unceremoniously tossed from the stadium on Monday during a Premiere League soccer match in London. We for one wouldn't stand for such treatment, Kingsley! You've got a lawsuit here....