The Giants have clinched their fifth straight losing season, are going to miss the playoffs for the ninth time in 10 years, and the most intriguing thing about them right now is how long they’ll start Mike Glennon at quarterback over Jake Fromm. That’s because Daniel Jones, a bust from the moment he was drafted, to nobody’s surprise except Big Blue’s front office, may be out for the season with a neck injury.
For a lot of Giants fans, beating the Patriots in Super Bowls XLII and XLVI was enough to last a lifetime, but you’d still want to have a team that’s at least interesting. The Giants aren’t even close to that, standing as maybe the most boring team in the entire NFL. At least the Lions have a coach who talks about biting kneecaps, and they had a tie this season, and they lose games in different and excruciating ways. The Giants just go out there every Sunday, lose by 10-20 points, come back the next week and do it again.
Giants management is aware of what a slog it’s been, and this Sunday, they will have Fan Appreciation Day when the Cowboys come to the Meadowlands.
How will the Giants show appreciation to those who are still willing to show up to watch New York lose to Dallas by 10-20 points?
With a medium soda.
Yes, a medium fountain soda.
Not for everyone, though. Just for “Season Ticket Members.” Who get their medium soda barcode scanned by a vendor.
Have you ever ordered a medium soda at a stadium? It’s a cup of ice with maybe six cents worth of soda. It is the most worthless thing that a team could possibly provide as a “thank you” to fans, all the more so because nobody is going to a concession stand to order only their free soda. This is the Giants hoping to get a boost to Sunday’s concession sales, while trying to make it look like they’re doing a nice thing.
And since it’s not just a free soda for everyone, but necessitates the scanning of a barcode, the concession lines will take longer as people search through their emails to find the barcode, then have to shuffle to their tap-to-pay app or get out their physical wallet.
Actually, that might be the nicest thing the Giants can do for their fans. By holding them up on longer lines for soda, people will spend less time having to watch Giants football. They’ll appreciate that.