Some Thoughts On Tyronn Lue Boulevard

Former NBA player and current Cavs assistant coach Tyronn Lue is from Mexico, Mo., a small town in the center of the state that is home to 11,543, according to the 2010 census. To honor Lue, the city council recently passed a resolution to rename Walnut Street as Tyronn Lue Boulevard.

I’m here to tell you that the Mexico city council has done Tyronn Lue wrong, because the “boulevard” they have gifted him sucks. For one, it’s not even a continuous road. Lue is getting two little stretches of pavement that are less than a mile long and are separated by a soybean meal plant. The first bit of Walnut St. runs south from East Liberty St. to East Holt St. for about 380 feet. It picks up again beyond the soybean plant, running south from East Bolivar St. for about 0.3 miles before turning into East Seminary St. This ain’t no damn boulevard:

C’mon, man:

Look, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, you did read an article on Pitch.com way back in July of 2001 explicitly stating that Tyronn Lue learned to play basketball on the courts of Garfield Park, and yes, that is Garfield Park butting up against the east side of Walnut Street in the photo above. “What better street to name Tyronn Lue Boulevard, Tom, you fool?” is something you might be thinking to yourself right now.

Fine, I feel you, but consider the following points: a) That ain’t no damn boulevard (sorry to repeat myself, but this is important), and b) Doesn’t the most famous person to ever come out of Mexico, Mo., (that’s a wild guess that I am certain is correct) deserve more than this pathetic excuse for a street? What are they going to give the next Mexico native who ends up being just slightly less famous and successful than Tyronn Lue, a goddamn alley? We’re setting the bar too low!

Personally, I think the Mexcio city council should rename North Wade St. after Tyronn Lue. It runs south along the eastern edge of Plunkett Park for about 0.7 miles before turning into West Jackson Street. Where it intersects with West Monroe St., there’s a Pizza Hut, a Domino’s, and a Hardee’s.

Now that’s a damn boulevard.

h/t Jon