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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)

Illustration for article titled Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)

It's the probing question that keeps the world's brightest minds up at night: Did unpopular Texas Republican Craig James actually kill five hookers while at Southern Methodist? Tim Rogers, an editor at D Magazine in Dallas, finally got James campaign spokeswoman Meredith Turney on the phone for a frank discussion of allegedly dead hookers and so much more.


Here's how things start off:

"Wow. Um. Actually, we did address that issue. Very early in the campaign, we sent a tweet out letting people know that we'd been Google bombed."

"I must have missed this tweet."

"We mentioned in passing that Craig had been the victim of a Google bomb."

"If you had killed five hookers, then the Google bomb excuse is the perfect cover. Hypothetically, you see what I'm saying."

"Yeah, no, I can categorically, definitively say that is absolutely untrue. I know that in this day and age of the internet, there's a lot of things that people like to do to be funny and to ridicule people. But in this case, it's very disrespectful to another human being to spread a rumor like that. That is despicable. I mean, Craig is a wonderful family man. I have worked with him since the beginning of the campaign, and I have not met—I've worked in politics a long time—I have not met a more honorable, decent human being than Craig James. He is a wonderful Christian man, loves his wife, Marilyn. They've been married for almost 30 years. He has four beautiful children. And to spread these kinds of rumors is just malicious. And I just find it really despicable that people would stoop to that level to attack a man's character."

"I have to ask you a follow-up question."

As they say, go read the whole thing, because it sure doesn't end there, devolving into a weirdly trippy exposition into Monty Python, mattress tags, Napoleon Dynamite, and black market panda meat. (Spoiler alert: The final line of the interview: "I love you.")

[D Magazine]