Super Bowl Ads Roundup: More cameo than commercial

It feels like tweens put more effort into their TikToks than ad agencies put man hours into Super Bowl ads. Feature a celebrity endorsement — or six — into a commercial and we’re good, right? Don Draper called Peggy Olsen lazy for pitching a Joe Namath cameo in the ’60s, and here we are, 60 years later, and DraftKings still hasn’t seen Mad Men. Before I get to the best (and worst) ads, here’s a list of every pitch man, woman, and voice from the Super Bowl.

Jason Bateman, Patrick Mahomes, John Legend, Troy Polamalu, Willie Nelson, Craig Robinson, Kanye West, Zendaya, Dolly Parton, Miley Cyrus, the woman owner from Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Ewan McGregor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Selma Hayek, Andy Richter, Andre 3000, Peyton Manning, Steve Buscemi, Brooks Koepka, Serena Williams, Jimmy Butler, the Sopranos kids, Anna Kendrick, Awkwafina, Jennifer Coolidge, Cousin Greg, the rest of the Manning brothers, Archie Manning, J.B. Smoove, Morgan Freeman, Larry David, Cris Collinsworth, Leslie Jones, Tommy Lee Jones, Rashida Jones, a Jonas brother, LeBron James, de-aged LeBron James, Jim Carey, Mila Kunis, Demi Moore, Marshawn Lynch, Gal Gadot’s voice (I think), Lindsay Lohan, William Shatner, Danny Trejo, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Guy Fieri, Mike Myers, Seth Green, Rob Lowe, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Colin Jost, Scarlett Johansson, DJ Khaled, Idris Elba, Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Brie Larson, David Bautista, Pete Davidson, Jerod Mayo, Kevin Hart, the dad from Modern Family, and probably a few more I didn’t catch.

The best stuff, in my opinion, didn’t feature a celeb, or the celeb wasn’t the reason why the ad worked. Here’s a breakdown:

My personal favorite was Irish Spring’s cast the smell away, a medieval cult mock sacrificing/scrubbing a smelly guy. It’s weird and dark, but that’s how I’d describe my sense of humor. And it showed a guy carving a bar of soap in a homage to the “fresh and [whistle] clean as whistle” Irish Soap days.

Only because I’ve adapted it as a life motto, I found Cutwater Spirits’ “Work smarter, not harder” ad amusing. Shout out to the sprinkler car wash guy. Brilliant.

Admittedly, there are some very problematic aspects of Rocket.com’s Barbie having to compete with Better Offer Betty, Cash Offer Carl, and House Flipper Skipper for a dream house, but the housing market is so insane that I laughed. Also, the use of Anna Kendrick is how you utilize a spokeswoman.

Ditto for using noted skeptic Larry David as a historical skeptic in FTX’s ad for crypto.

There also were the usual spots designed to deploy nostalgia to tug at your heart strings and wallet. Personal favorite of the Deadspin staff was the Sopranos knockoff by Chevy.

I don’t know about the staff, but my least favorite of the repurposing old content for new ads was either Jim Carey reprising his role as Cable Guy for Verizon, or the Austin Powers parody by General Motors. Why not just pay them an extra few million and reboot the IP?

Twitter was not happy that Hellmann’s Mayonnaise did a shot-for-shot knockoff of Terry Tate, Office Linebacker.

As far as egregious use of celebrities, the battle for the most cameos was either Toyota’s Jones commercial with a bunch of Joneses and a Jonas brother, Michelob Ultra’s Buscemi at a bowling alley with sports stars, or Nissan’s Eugene Levy commercial with Brie Larson, David Bautista, and like three others.

Uber Eats had so many cameos I forgot to mention/didn’t catch Gwenyth Paltrow eating a candle scented like her…(Can we just ban Easter Eggs? It’s an Uber Eats commercial, not a trailer for Dr. Strange 2.)

According to our reporter on the ground, Stephen Knox, the only commercial shown inside the stadium was Guy Fieri’s Flavor Town ad. The mayor of Flavor Town may be facing impeachment because anything Bug Light sells tastes like sweat and artificial sweeteners.

Here are a few more notable or regrettable commercials.

Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd were likable but not especially memorable in their Lay’s ad.

John Legend tried to sell sleeping with him via sleepcast, aka a podcast that puts you to sleep (that’s just called a podcast, John). Dolly Parton had something to get off her chest, and it was a cellphone pulled from her cleavage and a shitty duet with Miley Cyrus about 5G. And there was a floating QR code that someone spent way too much on to run as a Super Bowl ad.

That’s all I got. I figure it’s time to call it as I’ve reached the juncture where I’m watching ads on YouTube to watch ads from the Super Bowl.