If there's one thing I hate, it's getting dressed up in my favorite NFL dress shirt for a night on the town, and then getting jumped by hooligans. If only there were a place I could shop where they would take care of both my NFL dress shirt and self defense needs. Well, now there is! Just listen to The Self Defense Guy, whose video is shown below. Watch this commercial, and not only will you look great, but you'll be safe from roving bands of thugs. The Self Defense Guy says:
"Now when I take my woman out, she's happy to see me in my "button" down shirt. Makes her feel like I care enough about her to get dressed up. And I DO CARE about her, she's my woman. It's just that until now I never felt comfortable wearing what every one else was wearing. I'm just an average guy who loves football and hates to get dressed up. If that's how you are, you'll like your shirt as much as I like mine, maybe even more. Get one now and see what I mean."
The Self Defense Guy goes on to describe the types of shirts he has in stock, and explain that he is a dedicated Steelers fan. But then the commercial takes a sudden, comical turn:
"I also want to tell you, if you need pepper spray or a stun gun, go to my web site, theselfdeenseguy.com, and you can get pepper spray or a stun gun for only $2."
So you may look hideous in this atrocious NFL dress shirt, but at least you'll be armed. And let me tell you, there is no peace of mind like the peace of mind you'll get from knowing that you have a two-dollar stun gun in your purse. Combine these with my bulletproof briefcase, and I'm virtually unstoppable on any business trip.