Puma, the producer of a skintight product worn during physical activity to protect the wearer from the hazardous aspects of said activity without inhibiting performance or pleasure, was embarrassed this weekend when the shirts they made for the Swiss national team repeatedly tore in the heat of the action. Switzerland’s Xherdan Shaqiri later told the media that he hoped Puma would not extend their brand to the in-many-ways analogous prophylactic industry:
No goals, but four ripped kits and one burst ball. The shortage of action in France and Switzerland’s dull 0-0 draw in Lille on Sunday night prompted increased attention on deficient equipment, with Swiss kits tearing easier than paper and the winger Xherdan Shaqiri telling Blick: “I hope Puma does not produce condoms.”
For their part, Puma appeared to place at least some of the blame for the flimsy shirts on the Swiss player’s individual use:
A Puma spokesperson told the Guardian: “Five Puma teams have played 10 games in this tournament without such problems. Our product people are currently investigating the shirt material. We will provide a further update when we have one.”
We yearn for the days when it was safe to go out there flesh-to-flesh.