1 Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Have Discovered Proto-Nightmare Bear. He Is The Worst Nightmare Bear
The above photo was taken in July of 2007, and it is the oldest image of Nightmare Bear that exists in the AP image archive. Finally, we can trace the ever-evolving Nightmare Bear's birth back to this one dark day....
Canada's Curling Skip Gets Emotional While Watching Final Shot
Jennifer Jones's final stone wrapped up a 6-3 victory for her team in today's gold medal match against Sweden, capping off the Canadian team's unbeaten Olympic run. While watching her shot slide down the ice, the 39-year-old Jones couldn't help but get a little emotional. One thing that's cool about...
Canada's Ladies Win Gold In Curling; Here's Where They Come From
With a 6-3 result over Sweden bringing home gold for captain Jennifer Jones's squad, Canada is exultant over their curling success. In the piece below, Adam Doster explores the culture they came from—it involves beer and pork hearts—by way of finding out just why curling is so much damn fun....
Swiss Women's Hockey Team Wins Bronze Thanks To This Empty Netter
The Swiss took bronze in the women's Olympic hockey tournament today, thanks to this heads up play by 15-year-old forward Alina Muller. Down 3-2 with just over two minutes left to play, the Swedish team pulled its goalie to get an extra attacker on the ice. One minute later, Muller sent home the emp...
Angry Russian Hockey Fan Wants To Send The Team To Siberia
He seems upset....
Ashley Wagner's Reactions Remain The Best
It's no "Bullshit!," but Ashley Wagner's response to another lower-than-expected score in today's ladies short program deserves our attention. It's almost as if she's so conscious of her reaction that she overcorrects toward glee. We like both parts....
The Russian Olympic Hockey Coach's Postgame Presser Was Gold
From the Wall Street Journal, comes a highly enjoyable back-and-forth between Russian Olympic hockey coach, Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, and a member of the media. While taking a break from pushing the foolish "Blame Ovechkin" narrative, Bilyaletdinov discussed his own future in rather macabre terms....
The Coach Who Doesn't Care: How One Man Turns Skaters Into Champions
Gracie Gold was having a bad night. The 18-year-old figure skater was about a minute and a half into her free skate at the U.S. International Classic in September when she singled a double axel. It was a significant mistake—a loss of a couple of points—but for a disciplined skater, that kind of erro...
Is Time For Sad Nightmare Bear
Here we find Nightmare Bear, shortly after the Russian hockey team's loss to Finland, experiencing a nightmare of his own. Now you know how we feel every time we look at you, Nightmare Bear....
Why Does Every Olympian Skate To <em>Les Misérables</em>?
There are still two days left of Olympic figure skating, and I have officially maxed out my lifetime tolerance for the Les Misérables soundtrack, something not even Russell Crowe could do to me. Same goes for the score from the 1968 movie adaptation of Romeo and Juliet: I have never seen this film, ...
Snowboard Cross Semifinal Features Nutshot, Photo Finish
Trevor Jacob did not have a very good semifinal in today's snowboard cross competition. First, he busted his ankle. Then he suffered a dickpunch from American teammate Alex Deibold. And finally, he missed out on qualifying for the final by hundredths of a second....
Jeremy Schaap's Report From Sochi Was A Big Fat FRAUD
Here's ESPN's Jeremy Schaap, braving the cold night air in Sochi to bring us a live report. Good thing he's got that coat and scarf on! Hey, wait a minute ... ...
Gus Kenworthy's Love For Puppies Has Him Stuck In Sochi
Remember when Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy found all the puppies? Well, it appears that Kenworthy has become attached to the strays, and is taking steps to bring them back to Colorado with him. Kenworthy is so committed to bringing those puppies home that he is staying in Sochi a few days longer than...
Nightmare Bear Greets Swimsuit Models With His Cold, Soulless Eyes
Dammit, Nightmare Bear. Can you just do one thing that isn't horrible?...
Nightmare Bear Continues Sochi Reign Of Terror
(Previously in Nightmare Bear misbehavior.)...
"Get The Fuck Away From Me, Nightmare Bear."
(Previously in Nightmare Bear.)...
Super-G Course "A Disaster," 18 Different Skiers Fail To Reach Finish
The ladies' super-G competition today in Sochi was a farce, with seven of the first eight competitors failing to reach the finish and a total of 18 registering DNFs on a terrible course covered with what can only generously be called "snow."...
Katie Uhlaender Was Not Too Happy About Just Missing A Skeleton Medal
American slider Katie Uhlaender came up just short of a bronze medal in the women's skeleton event, placing behind Russia's Elena Nikitina by .04 seconds. After the race, Uhlaender was interviewed by the BBC; she was not shy about expressing her disappointment, and even took a bit of a shot at Niki...
Figure Skater Yan Han Makes Weird Faces In Slow Motion
Every figure skater makes weird faces while performing. This much is true due to torque and physics, but we were especially taken by Chinese skater Yan Han during his performance today in Sochi, one that helped him land an seventh place overall position in men's figure skating. We thought we'd highl...
Irish Slider Falls Off Skeleton Sled, Climbs Back On, Finishes Run
We've seen this in luge before, but it's another thing entirely when you're headed down the Sanki Sliding Centre headfirst. Here's Irish skeletoner Sean Greenwood recovering from almost certain disaster—and inevitable serious injury, given he was going nearly 75 mph—to finish his run and avoid disqu...