16 Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Épée Is For Losers<em></em>
Fencing is a great sport. It’s pseudo-techno-sword-fighting! What more could you want? I’ll tell you: to get rid of épée, the stupid version of the sport....
The Diving Venue Water Has Not Improved
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Just So You Know, A Real Archer Would Destroy These Olympic Pretenders On The Field Of Combat
I tried watching some Olympic archery competitions. It made me sick. All I saw were a bunch of stationary cowards, shooting arrows in a highly controlled environment while aided by the kind of high-tech equipment you’d expect to find in a Navy SEAL’s locker. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Lars A...
We Must Destigmatize Farting
Bolder minds envision a world free of strife, hunger, inequality. My utopia is a little more modest and attainable: a world where people pass gas freely and openly whenever they have to, unfettered by social mores....
How Many Coworkers Are You Allowed To Bone?
A version of this blog has sat in my drafts folder since March. It would be nice to say that I didn’t publish it back then because we were “going through a change”—we were, we hired two new writers—and it was maybe not the time to gratuitously throw the word “bone” (the colloquial word for the sex a...
<i>SI</i>'s Peter King: I Like To Eat Diarrhea, It's Good, Mmm, Gimme That Hot Diarrhea With Onions
Here is Peter King, a face drawn on the side of Roger Goodell’s hand, telling you two ways that he likes to eat diarrhea. He likes to eat diarrhea on top of spaghetti with onions and cheese, and he likes to eat diarrhea on a hot dog, also with onions, but with no mustard....
Alex Rodriguez Was Big Enough To Take All The Blame
It’s obvious where this begins: Thirteen years ago, at baseball’s annual winter meetings, the entire story was Alex Rodriguez and when and where he would be going. The Texas Rangers, who’d averaged 90 losses in three seasons with Rodriguez at shortstop, had made clear that they wanted out from under...
Why Your Team Sucks 2016: Philadelphia Eagles<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. And buy Drew’s new book here....
Look At How Hard These Olympic Weightlifters Are Trying
One of the notable and mesmerizing things about competitive weightlifting (I say from a place of virtually no meaningful knowledge; but, hey) is that it features maybe the simplest form of distilled grit in the Olympics. I’m sure there is invisible strategy and skill in every attempt but, perhaps mo...
Steve Martin Is My Body Icon
I assume that there is an amount of working out, tanning, waxing, and grooming I could do in order to be a moderately more handsome person. I have no interest in doing this. My body icon isn’t a Hemsworth or a Tyrese. It’s Steve Martin, who has mastered the art of looking like the same person for as...
Green Death Spreads To Olympics Water Polo Pool
Algae bloomed overnight in the diving pool at Rio’s Maria Lenk Aquatics Centre, and it was only a matter of time that it spread to the competition pool next door—which, from watching today’s water polo action, it has....
What To Pack For A Nuclear Attack You Won't Survive Anyway
I spend most of my time thinking about one of two frightening things: how I could have had more fun in college, and what will happen when there’s a nuclear attack against the United States. (And I do believe it will happen in my lifetime.) Nuclear war and nuclear terrorism are just about the scaries...
Michael Phelps Tied A 2,168-Year-Old Olympic Record
Another two golds last night for Michael Phelps, the most decorated American Olympian ever: That makes 21 gold medals in his career, 25 medals overall, and with his win in the 200m butterfly—a particularly personal win, given his loss in that event four years ago—Phelps now has 12 individual wins to...
Check Out This Italian Volleyball Guy's Insane Serve
Italy’s beach volleyball team has a secret weapon: Adrian Carambula can serve the volleyball so dang high in the air. Check out this spicy meatball....
What's Going On With Ryan Lochte's Hair?
Ryan Lochte is a very fast and skilled swimmer who just helped the United States win a gold medal tonight. He’s also kind of a dumbass who’s sporting some truly, uh, unique hair at these Rio Olympics....
Michael Phelps's 200-Meter Butterfly Was Beautiful
Michael Phelps just won Olympic gold in the 200-meter butterfly. It’s his 20th lifetime gold medal and the perfect narrative conclusion to his comeback from having faltered in that very same race four years ago. It looked pretty cool, too. ...
Oh Snap
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Katie Ledecky Can Do It All
Katie Ledecky won the 200 meter freestyle final tonight to collect her third medal of the Rio Olympics. Ledecky won the 400 meter freestyle on Sunday, but her win tonight was much more impressive. The 19-year-old swimmer owns the world records in the 400, 800, and 1500 meter races, so she’s not nece...
Michael Phelps Drops Tombstone On Chad Le Clos, Wins 20th Gold Medal
Chad le Clos, who took advantage of Michael Phelps’s collapse in the 200 butterfly four years ago, poked the bear last night. He didn’t make it to the medal stand, and Phelps won his 20th gold. Rest in peace....
Witnesses: Rio Media Bus Shot At While Returning Passengers To Olympic Park<em></em>
A bus carrying media personnel and volunteers between Olympic venues was attacked in Rio this evening, according to multiple media reports. Several people who were on the bus described the attack as gunfire. Initial reports said the bus was shot at on the Trans Olympic Highway when the attack happen...