2 Page 303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....
Good Morning! The Jezebel Staff Is Running Deadspin Today
Hi, I’m the editor of Jezebel. Today, the Jezebel staff will be running Deadspin. ...
Clinton: You're Too Broke For A Candidate Who Represents You
Here is a hell of a tweet:...
The USMNT Are Who We Thought They Were
The United States Men’s National Team beat the pants off of Guatemala 4-0 tonight, avoiding the disaster scenario and setting themselves up to advance to the final round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying. But while the victory was comprehensive, there were plenty of worrying signs for the USMNT’s fut...
Did The Media Create Donald Trump? (No.)
So the question of the moment is: Did the media create Donald Trump?...
Carmelo Anthony Wants To Play In The Olympics To Once Again Know What Winning Feels Like
With Chris Paul announcing that he isn’t going to play in the upcoming Rio de Janeiro Olympics, reporters asked his good friend and USA Basketball stalwart Carmelo Anthony about whether he would going to follow suit. Via the New York Daily News:...
The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...
Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...
Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...
What It’s Like To Be Protested
I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was standing on the steps of Oviatt Library at Cal State Northridge, giving a speech to all the incoming freshmen as part of the university’s formal convocation. (Quick acknowledgment: Yes, this actually happened, so you are now free to dump on me for being a...
Is The Longhorn Network Killing The Big 12?
Five years into the grand experiment, and the Longhorn Network is kind of a disaster. It’s losing money hand-over-fist: reportedly $48 million since its launch, with annual losses hovering in the millions. Subscriber fees are painfully low, and ESPN is locked into this thing for another 15 years. An...
Who Will Take Anthony Davis's Spot At The Olympics?
Anthony Davis will undergo surgeries on his knee and shoulder and be out for several months, prompting a very important question: who will start at center for the United States at this summer’s Rio de Janeiro Olympics....
St. Joseph's Coach Phil Martelli Wants To Know Where The Weed's At
St. Joseph’s took down Cincinnati 78-76 after the Bearcats had a game-tying dunk wiped out at the end of regulation. Coach Phil Martelli was understandably pretty relaxed and happy after the game, and interrupted a question from an apparently very chill reporter to ask if they sold the devil’s lettu...
The Hater’s Guide To March Madness 2016
It’s that time of year again … time to say rotten, hateful things about every team in the NCAA tournament bracket. And what a bunch of shitty, corrupt teams they are! I don’t think there’s ever been a tournament featuring so many schools that are in the middle of horrifying scandals: Yale, Cal, Oreg...
Marco Rubio Will Have To Find Another Bed To Shit
Marco Rubio may very well be the emptiest suit to have campaigned for national office in my lifetime. He makes Paul Ryan look like Benjamin Disraeli....
Enjoy Nate Diaz Beating The Hell Out Of Justin Bieber In A Video Game
Justin Bieber and Nate Diaz had a weird, short-lived beef following the latter’s victory over Conor McGregor, so someone went ahead and made them fight each other in UFC 2....
A Good Cricket Catch
Apologies for the flippant hed, but this is a good cricket catch. It’s Bangladesh’s Soumya Sarkar getting his hands on a ball, realizing his momentum would carry him over the boundary, flipping it up in the air, and coming back to get it....
Presenting The 2016 Name Of The Year Bracket
These are exciting times for Name of the Year....
Donald Trump Praises Missouri's Football Teams In Bizarre Speech
In the past twelve months, the state of Missouri has watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles while its lone Division I-FBS team nearly went on strike due to racism on campus; they went 5-7 on the season. The two FCS programs? Missouri State’s football team went 1-10, while SEMO went 4-7. Donald ...