2 Page 400 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fortunately, ESPN Doesn't Speak Spanish
Here's a sign sported by some enthusiastic Spaniards before yesterday's Euro 2012 semifinal between Spain and Portugal and aired on ESPN before the match. It reads, basically, "Cristiano go fuck yourself, Froilán the Golden Boot."...
This At-Bat Captures The Sublime Ridiculousness Of Men's Slow-Pitch Softball
Literally dozens of people came out to ASA Hall of Fame Stadium tonight in Oklahoma City to see the USA Futures defeat the USA National Team in a 38-37 win, decided on a tag out at the plate on the final play. However, the first two outs of the inning came when two players hit home runs, actual fa...
The Official Song Of The London Olympics Is A Musical Abomination
There are so many better ways you could spend five minutes and 20 seconds of your life. You could drink half a beer, you could go put a load of laundry in the washer, you could jab a fork into your ears repeatedly and without mercy. These are all better uses of your time than listening to Muse's "...
Even Italy's A Little Racist Toward Mario Balotelli
This cartoon ran in Sunday's Gazzetta dello Sport, Italy's top-selling sports newspaper. It's Balotelli, fresh off the Azzurri triumph over England, climbing Big Ben. (Fun fact: It's officially "Elizabeth Tower" now.) Yes, Balotelli is playing the part of a giant gorilla, and yes, 90 percent of Euro...
Olympics Field Guide: Ryan Lochte, The Bro Who Beat Michael Phelps
Name: Ryan Lochte...
Dan O'Brien Has An Olympic Gold Medal, But He Couldn't Talk To Michelle Beadle Without Falling Off His Chair
A 1996 Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon, Dan O'Brien proved he can run, jump, throw, and vault as well as anyone in the world. Sitting is apparently a skill set he's yet to master....
Olympics Field Guide: Race Imboden, The New Face Of American Fencing
Name: Race Imboden...
Surprise, England: The Racist Was You All Along!
Boy, we all got psyched for some old-fashioned Eastern European racism, didn't we? "Stadiums of Hate," and Sol Campbell warning about twin black-hating boogeymen Andrzej and Andriy, and even England players leaving their families at home. Well, perhaps there's a lesson here, because not only did Eng...
Here's How British TV Broadcasters Reacted Live To News Italy Bounced England From Euro 2012
Just in time for the national sports focus's shift to Wimbeldon, England's national team flunked out of Euro 2012. A 4-2 loss on penalties to Italy in last night's quarterfinal match in Kiev was, naturally, the top story of the day, so we decided to drop in various national British networks to see...
A Sad English Penis Could Not Stop Italy From Advancing
Pirlo's Panenka-esque chip turned the tide. The Ashleys' gaffes set the table. But it was Alessandro Diamanti, going left and going low, that sent Italy through to the semis over the broken hearts of the overachieving Three Lions....
Saudi Arabia Allows A Token Female Olympian, So Get Off Their Backs Already
After 40 years of sending teams to the Olympics, Saudi Arabia has finally agreed that women should be allowed to participate. That manifests itself as one single athlete, born in America and raised in Europe, who will represent the Kingdom in equestrian events and thus be covered head to toe. And th...
Woman Plans On Running 52 Marathons In 52 Weeks
A Santa Monica woman, Julie Weiss, just finished her 10th marathon in as many weeks. According to her mission statement, she's got 42 more to go. Last week in Minnesota, she finished the 26.2 mile race in Duluth in four hours and forty minutes....
Chinese Man Died Of Exhaustion Trying To Watch All Of Euro 2012
A Chinese man has reportedly died after staying up for 11 straight nights (because of the time difference) to watch every match of Euro 2012....
![Amateur Hour At The U.S. Track And Field Olympic Trials [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17qrxfsh44rn9jpg.jpg)
Amateur Hour At The U.S. Track And Field Olympic Trials [UPDATE]
Allyson Felix and Jeneba Tarmoh are Olympic track and field hopefuls in the women's 100m event. Last night, Tarmoh was initially ruled to have finished ahead of Felix and thus Tarmoh came in third and Felix fourth. It's an important distinction because only three athletes are permitted to represe...
Kids Coach Little League Team To Championship
We live in a cynical world that sucks a lot most of the time. Then you read a story like this and it's like getting a shot of adrenaline. A little league team out in California, opting for the name San Clemente American No. 2 rather than the usual "San Clemente Royals" or something, just won its To...
Can You Guess What This "Nondescript Warehouse Sandwiched Between A Strip Mall And A Trailer Park" Has To Do With Olympic Athletes?
If you guessed that it was a training center for top-notch American table tennis players, then you are correct and congratulations for not thinking "drugs." The New York Times reported that this warehouse—the India Community Center Table Tennis Center—is a hotspot for Olympic talent and has trained ...
Sporty Spice Upset By Lack Of Spice Girls On Leaked Olympic Playlist
Mel C, more commonly known to those of us who grew up in the 90s as "Sporty Spice," is upset by designer Danny Boyle's decision to exclude the Spice Girls from his Olympic opening ceremony playlist. Since the rumored playlist has not yet been confirmed, Sporty hopes it might not be quite right. She...
Drunken Irishman Can't Find The Porta-Potty At Euro 2012
It is impossible to watch this video and not find yourself actively rooting for the Ireland fan to successfully locate and open a portable toilet in Poznan. The European Championship is truly awash in human drama. [Total Pro Sports, via SportsGrid]...
Mario Balotelli Doesn't Do Thing
Italy have a few days off before their quarterfinal match, so the team is trying a little bit of everything in training. Yesterday's session included some yoga, which, to be fair, does sound a little new-agey for Balotelli. He's more a "blow stuff up in your bathroom" sort of guy. Mario's level of p...
Adidas Is Having A Supremely Awkward Olympic Season
Yesterday, Adidas gave into to public pressure and shelved its proposed JS Roundhouse Mid, a new sneaker with an accompanying plastic shackle. Adidas is a flagship sponsor for the 2012 Olympics in London—they're even making Team Great Britain's uniforms—and they didn't want to spark an uproar....