2 Page 403 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big 12, SEC Join Forces For Transparently Money-Grubbing New Year's Day Bowl
It's been a busy offseason for the Big 12 and the SEC. Both added two new teams to their conferences—the Big 12 replaced Texas A&M and Missouri, who defected to the SEC, with TCU and West Virginia—and their commissioners, Chuck Neinas and Mike Slive, shilled for the new four-team playoff that will f...

Azerbaijan's Stinky Olympic Wrestling Team Is Sponsored By Febreze
It kind of makes sense for a group of sweaty, smelly wrestlers to partner up with a product that stakes its business model on eliminating odors. If nothing else, we get to see some poor sap take a hefty whiff of some wrestler's headgear and compare it to passionfruit. (Related: Don't ever put a bl...

Todd McShay's Mock Drafts Have Beaten Mike Mayock's And Mel Kiper's Four Years In A Row
We graded the 2012 Round 1 NFL mock drafts of Mel Kiper (ESPN), Todd McShay (ESPN), and Mike Mayock (NFL.com), and once again, McShay came out on top. This marks the fourth consecutive year in which McShay bested his two fellow pundits in mock draft accuracy....

For The Olympics, London Gets The World's Largest McDonald's
London does things big. Massive Ferris wheel. Giant gherkin. Overwhelming sense of inadequacy over a lost empire. And this summer, the world's largest McDonald's will open up near the Olympic village, for six weeks only. The Olympics truly do bring out the best in the world....

London Olympics To Be Protected By Rooftop Missile Launchers
The British Ministry of Defence recently informed residents of an "upscale apartment development" near Olympic Park that it plans to install a "missile battery" on the development's property....

The Sacramento Kings Are Now So Desperate That They're Marketing To Old Stoners
Are you a Sacramento Kings fan? Ha, no, shut up, you're not. They're half a game ahead of last place in the West, 2-8 in their last 10, headed for the lottery again. They're probably leaving town. Who would ever want to go to a Kings game?...

Posting A Facebook Photo From The London Olympics Could Land You In Court
Art by Ronald Wigman....

London Olympics Invite Keith Moon, Dead For 34 Years, To Play Closing Ceremony
There are just about a hundred days to go before the Summer Olympics, so presumably all the heavy lifting is done. The venues are built, the support staff hired and trained, and all that's left is getting the little touches right, so as to avoid incidents like Wayne Gretzky's face....

ESPN Is Shuttering Page 2
ESPN.com's Page 2 is closing today. What that means for you depends on how old you are....

Mario Balotelli Won't Be Doing Things On A Soccer Pitch For Awhile After A Shameful Sunday Display
Mario Balotelli's season is likely over, as is his career with Manchester City after a reckless display at Ashburton Grove during City's 1-0 loss to Arsenal yesterday....

Deadspin Does Opening Day, Again
Another day, another Opening Day! Here's your open thread for today's baseball games. And here's some more reading for you while the Red Sox waste time between pitches: Wait, when does the season begin, again? » | The historical events that could have happened in the time it took MLB to start its se...

Deadspin Does Opening Day*
Baseball continued its soft opening tonight, taking the show to Miami. Cards won, 4-1. But that doesn't mean you can't catch up on some stuff we wrote: Wait, when does the season begin, again? » | The Marlins did wrong by Muhammad Ali tonight » | Get to know MLB's human element » | Baseball Prospect...

The Marlins Have Scheduled A Five-Minute Standing Ovation After The First Pitch Tonight
Tweets Jayson Stark: "Still no word on who's throwing out first pitch at Marlins Park. But MLB has scheduled a 5-minute standing O when he or she is announced." Hmm. Jeb Bush?...

30 Paragraphs About 30 MLB Teams From The Baseball Prospectus Crew
The following is excerpted from the team chapters and player profiles of the perpetually splendid Baseball Prospectus. You can buy the book now. Projected records via BP's playoff odds report. ...
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[This Headline Has Been Vacated]
That's that: Kentucky's student-athletes defeated Kansas's amateur basketball players, 67-59. Here's a look at some of our tourney coverage: They're cursing on TV in Kentucky » | The celebration scared some radio guy » | John Calipari, honest pimp » | How the careers of March Madness heroes ended » ...

John Calipari, The First Honest Pimp
John Calipari is a smarmy greaseball with a habit of making enemies and racking up NCAA violations, and sometimes I think he's the only man who really understands college basketball. ...

The World's Slowest Swimmer Is Making His Triumphant Return To The Summer Oympics
Twelve years ago, Eric "The Eel" Moussambani became a cult hero at the Sydney Olympics when he ran a 100-meter freestyle heat (a) as the only swimmer, due to two other DQs, and (b) in the slowest 100-meter freestyle performance the Olympics had ever seen. Now he's coming back—sort of....

Deadspin Is Looking For Summer Interns
Edit: We are no longer accepting applications for this position. Thank you for your interest....
![A Stoppage-Time El Salvador Goal Brought An End To The Olympic Dreams Of U.S. Men's Soccer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
A Stoppage-Time El Salvador Goal Brought An End To The Olympic Dreams Of U.S. Men's Soccer [UPDATE]
The United States will not field a men's soccer team at the London Olympics after this stoppage-time goal by El Salvador's Jaime Enrique Alas forced a 3-3 draw in the CONCACAF U-23 qualifying tournament....

The Goldman Sachs-y Group Behind The London Olympics Is Making Torchbearers Buy Their Own Torches
As the 2012 Olympics draw near, our London correspondent will be filing semi-regular dispatches on life, culture, and Sport from the Big Smoke....