3 Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jared Goff Blew It
We have to start with what should have been the Super Bowl’s first touchdown. Late in the third quarter, Robert Woods dragged a trio of defenders over to the left sideline while Brandin Cooks ran briefly uncovered into the end zone, only to go unseen by Jared Goff long enough for Jason McCourty to ...
Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction
Here’s CBS NFL analyst Tony Romo, seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, giving his Super Bowl prediction from last week. Check out Nostradamus over here!...
The Worst People Win Again
All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds...
Well, That Sucked
At no time was Super Bowl 53 as compelling, entertaining, or satisfying as that video of a naked guy pooping while flipping into a lake. Sunday evening would have been better spent watching that again. But we watch the Super Bowls we are given, so our options are either to admire the defensive domin...
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
I Went Backstage At The Puppy Bowl And Tried To Interview A Bunch Of Puppies
The Puppy Bowl began as Super Bowl counterprogramming. Everyone’s watching football, so why not just throw a bunch of puppies on the screen and call it a day? Somehow, that worked not just as filler but as actual programming. The Puppy Bowl airs Sunday for the 15th straight year....
Boban Marjanovic Gets Wrecked With A Book In The New <i>John Wick</i> Trailer
When basketball giant Boban Marjanovic was named among the cast in the next installment of the John Wick franchise, I feared that his cameo would be a forgettable one. Maybe he’d be spotted sipping champagne in a dark corner of a European night club, or at best be a faceless goon who catches a bulle...
So, What's Really Happening Between Colin Kaepernick And Travis Scott?
During the Chargers-Patriots ass-beating on Sunday, the NFL officially announced what had been rumored for months: the Super Bowl XLIII halftime show will feature Maroon 5 as headliners, with supporting slots from Travis Scott and, in what amounted to the only surprising bit of the announcement, Out...
Cat Zingano's Eye Is Super Messed Up After Her Bizarre Loss At UFC 232
A few fights before Amanda Nunes annihilated Cris Cyborg, towering Australian striker Megan Anderson won her first fight in the UFC, with a first-minute TKO of Cat Zingano that was far stranger than Nunes’s knockout. As Zingano was circling away from Anderson’s probing punches, Anderson threw a head...
Amanda Nunes's Destruction Of MMA's Most Feared Woman Was Shockingly Easy
Before Amanda Nunes blitzed her last night at UFC 232, the closest fearsome Brazilian destroyer Cris Cyborg came to losing against top-level competition was a dominant decision win against Holly Holm last year. Aside from that bout and a career-starting kneebar loss—the sort most strikers have on th...
Jon Jones Throws A Hissy Fit After Reporter Asks About His Atypical Drug Test
Last night was the official pre-fight press conference for UFC 232, an event that was hastily moved from Las Vegas to Los Angeles after headliner Jon Jones was found to have a small trace of a banned substance in his blood. Jones, who has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in the past, ...
Won't Someone Please Think Of Dana White?
UFC president Dana White was a bit of a shithead towards a reporter on Thursday during the press conference for the recently-relocated UFC 232. To make things easier for Jon Jones to participate in the headlining fight after an “atypical” drug test, the pay-per-view event was move from Las Vegas to ...
Less Than One Month After Saying "I Ain't Trying To Fight For No Title," Derrick Lewis Will Fight For The Title
Great news, fight fans! Derrick “My Balls Was Hot” Lewis—who was so out of shape and exhausted after knocking out Alexander Volkov last weekend that in his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan, when asked about a title shot, he said “fuck what you talking about right now, I ain’t trying to fight for ...
Scammy Champions Basketball League Gets Humiliated In Court, Drops Lawsuit, Continues To Fall Apart
It’s been just over a year since we first reported on the trials and tribulations of the Champions Basketball League, a semi-pro league that used false promises to bilk hundreds of thousands of dollars out of investors who were sold on the opportunity to own a piece of a basketball team full of form...
Virtually No One In San Diego Is Listening To Sports Radio Goon Dan Sileo
You may ask, “Who is Dan Sileo?” Reader, you are lucky—and not alone. The ex-Miami Hurricanes football player and sports radio lunk, who has twice been fired for moronic remarks, is drawing in no listeners on the disastrous San Diego radio station 97.3 The Fan....
Weck, Scorned, Gets Revenge On Former Spouse
Update (June 2, 9:41 a.m.): The former BW3's apologizes for the “awful tweets” but not for their awful food: ...
Shalane Flanagan Takes 13-Second Bathroom Break In The Middle Of The Boston Marathon
Here’s Shalane Flanagan, defending New York City Marathon champion and one of the best American runners of all time, sprinting to a porta-potty just before the halfway mark of this morning’s Boston Marathon:...
San Diego's Month-Old Radio Station Was Already Forced To Redo Its Whole Lineup
Farewell, 97.3 The Machine. We never knew ye....
Invisible Men, Surprise Guests, And Monsters: A WrestleMania 34 Weekend Travelogue
I have done The WrestleMania Weekend Thing once before, back in 2013, but I slept in my own bed that time. The weekend has only gotten crazier since then, and this year the confluence of a jam-packed slate of events and a return engagement in New Orleans finally wore me down. So I went to New Orlean...