3 Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

At Last, The Glory Of Youkilis Is Introduced To Japan
Well, it's doesn't feel the start of the baseball season tomorrow morning — jeez, like, 11 hours from now — but it is, in fact, the beginning: The Red Sox and the A's, in the Tokyo Dome, 6 a.m., baseball is here ... kind of....

Don't Throw Water Bottles In The Desert
Storming the Floor mentioned this yesterday, and now we have the moving picture evidence of the water bottle heave during the Arizona-USC game on Thursday night....

When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....

Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....

Vick Sentenced To 23 Months In Jail
Word has come down from Richmond, Virg.: Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months in prison. Prosecutors had recommended 12-18 months in jail, but Judge Henry Hudson went above that. Considerably....

McCowns For Everyone!
With just four games on the 4 o'clock table, three turned out to be amazing, while the fourth turned out to be Denver-Oakland, which was still passable as a competitive event....

Peyton's Good, But He'll Never Be A QB Like His Brother
About that "poor 1:00 game slate" thing: somehow I kept forgetting about the Indianapolis/Jacksonville game. Maybe we take for granted that they play twice a year and the matchup's always decent, or maybe it was just infected by all the other bad games much like Gary Gulman's theory about grapefruit...

Traditionally, 11 Man Defenses Work Better
I've read in a couple places that the Redskins' first defensive play featured a 10-person formation in honor of Sean Taylor, which the Bills also thought was proper, because they used that play for a 22-yard gain. (Good thing it wasn't a 21-yard run.) The pride of Wallaceburg, Ontario and BGSU's own...

High School Chess Team Cheats En Passant
Today's high school student-athletes face so many more distractions than yesteryear, even at the high school level: national media scrutiny, drugs, and pretty girls. Not so with chess players (such as the one pictured here — I believe this is a young Keith Olbermann) although they have it tough as w...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you decorate your drunken Christmas moose ... • College football: Rutgers at Louisville. You've got some red on you. [ESPN] • College basketball: Oregon at Kansas State [ESPN2]; Oklahoma at Southern California [FSN]. West Coast meets Midwest in classic culture clash. • College women...

Footbaw!
Type "Giants fan" into Google Images and that's one of the first images to grace your 15-inch monitor. Seems about right. Eli Manning is 6-for-garbage, with two interceptions. He threw four picks in his last meeting against the Vikes, so he's right on pace. Minnesota 24, New York Giants 7....

About Last Night
What you missed while in a meat coma ... • College football: Trojans feast on Sun Devils, restore order to the the universe. USC 44, ASU 24. • NFL: Favre, Romo set up titanic match of 10-1 teams that a lot of people won't see. • College basketball: George Mason is back in the news, to Kansas State's...

Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
I don't know if this qualifies for today's Hugh, but during last night's Nevada-Hawaii game, I couldn't control my laughter everytime the color guy said "WAC Offensive Player of the Week." -efelde84 (screen grab via FanIQ)...

Budweiser's Right: The Browns Are So Good They Don't Even Need A Logo
Gus Johnson, calling that exhilarating Bills-Fins game today, just got done saying before the half that he thinks the Steelers are being slept on and that they could easily hang with the Patriots or Colts. DA says, "Suck on my Horse Balls, Gussy!" Browns 21, Steelers 9...

Detroit Lions Sweep The Leg On Broncos
The appetizers leading up to the Colts-Patriots were actually rather satisfying. Most of the games were very close in the fourth quarter, and a very large defensive lineman had to run fast. The Patriots-Colts, Texans-Raiders, and Seahawks-Browns are the only afternoon games. But first, let's look at...

The Reggies Are Running Rampant In New Orleans
Okay, which one of you smart-alecks told me that the Jaguars had a good defense? Because then I went and told everybody, including my local priest, and now I just look foolish. Most of the touchdowns were scored by one of many Reggies (Bush has two for the Saints, and Williams caught an 80-yard pass...

Once In a Blue Moon
The World Series has finally come to the hallowed grounds of Coors Field and Denver is welcoming the Red Sox with balmy 36 degree weather. It's Dice-K vs. Fogg and they're both going to be wielding the half-frozen lumber. Terry Francona has opted to hold Kevin Youkilis' bat and glove, somebody shoul...

The Video Game Version Of What You'd Look Like Playing Hockey
This is Shawn Chambers, who played 23 years in the NHL and won two Stanley Cups. He also has a more modern, odder distinction: He's the worst video game athlete in history....

Houston Finally Returns To Texans-Style Football
Checking in with the halftime NFL scores, which by now are mid-third quarter scores ... • After a 2-0 start, The Houston Texans seem headed for the all-too-familiar losing record after this week, and Matt Schaub is no longer the fantasy quarterback steal of the year. But that still doesn't mean Atla...