4 Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

The IOC Was This Close To Owning Santa Claus
Saturday, the Russian Olympic Committee announced the results of voting for the 2014 Olympic mascots. (They picked a snowboarding snow leopard, and a fluffy bunny and cheerful bear. They're boring.) But one of the 10 nominees didn't even make it to voting. Ded Moroz ("Father Frost"), the Russian ver...

Ronnie Lott Mounting A Fat Guy Is Not A Suitable Replacement For Joe Montana
Thousands crammed Fresno's Save Mart Center yesterday for a motivational seminar advertising appearances from Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani and Joe Montana. This being Northern California, Montana was the big draw. He no-showed....

Jim Harbaugh To The 49ers
Adam Schefter is reporting Jim Harbaugh will sign a 5-year deal with San Francisco, and get to coach the third- or fourth-best QB in the bay area....

Telestrator Dong Breaks Out On The Odd-Dong Rush
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brian Westbrook Has Already Had A More Successful 2010 Than Donovan McNabb
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: your new 49ers starting RB....

Here's Your "I Can't Believe These Teams Are Somehow Still Relevant" MNF Open Thread
3-7 San Francisco plays at 3-7 Arizona tonight. The Cardinals have lost five straight. And yet, in the very sad NFC West wasteland, a win could put either team a game back of the division lead. Should this be illegal?...

The 49ers Don't Care About Spygate II Because Their Offense Is Simplistic. Fact.
I'm not sure what's more amazing: A re-imagining of the conversation between Josh McDaniels and Mike Singletary during the Denver Broncos "Call 'Em All Apology Hour" for Spygate II, or this nugget from ESPN's story about it ......

Sneakers From Heaven
Writes Marc: "A while back i noticed someone threw some old school Air Jordans up on the telephone/power lines across the street... today...I saw this out my window...word. I wonder if he's going to the outdoor courts at the park now to hoop it up."...

Gay Nascar Fan: Gays Give Me More Guff About Being A Gay Nascar Fan Than Nascar Fans Do
Having grown up in the racin' bastion of South Carolina, Michael Myers started the website Queers4Gears.com last September. The idea: Provide an online home for kindred sporting souls. The demand: Initially 2,000 unique visits monthly....

The 49ers Vs. Universal Health Care
Alex Smith flew to London to get his shoulder checked out in advance of Sunday's game at Wembley Stadium. Expect him to still be in the waiting room come the weekend. [AP]...

Here's Video Of Chris Berman In 1984, Seemingly Before His Testicles Descended
This is video of a SportsCenter update from Christmas 1984. It's exceptional in every way you might imagine it to be....

Retired Football Player Loves Jesus, Guns
Glen Coffee—the former 49ers running back who retired to focus on religion—has been charged with possession of a concealed firearm in Florida. Heretic! It was the Gnostic Gospels that encouraged keeping a gat on the down low. [Pro Football Talk]...

Mike Singletary Doesn't Handle Criticism Well
Remember that whole "Mike Singletary Doesn't Much Like Talking" post from seven days ago this very minute? Fine, refresh yourself....

Mike Singletary Doesn't Much Like Talking
Mike Singletary's team got smoked by Seattle opening week and some rat 49er fink told Yahoo Sports! the team's losing faith in offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye....

Mike Singletary Wishes He Could Change, He Really Does
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: trow dropper and 49ers coach Mike Singletary....

Al Michaels And Cris Collinsworth Are Far Too Aware Of The Spread
Can we drop the charade and acknowledge that the only people watching the fourth quarter, third stringers of a preseason game are degenerate gamblers? The announcers analyzing a "meaningless" safety certainly knew how to play to the crowd....

Vernon Davis And Aaron Maybin Enjoy Stripper-Laced Vacation
In the past, NFL players had the luxury of a slower news cycle and no threat of grainy cellphone pictures—Joe Namath and Dan Fouts could attend a key party in peace, damnit. Those days are long, long gone....

Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....