4 Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...

This Guy Hasn't Washed His Face Since 2004
They've announced the villain in the next Batman movie, and this one's the most insidious of all. His powers include super smugness, a photographic memory that does not include anything prior to 2001, and invisibility (should the conversation turn to the Bruins). Only posted comment to his photo so...

Bobby Fischer's Endgame
"What is chess, do you think? Those who play for fun or not at all dismiss it as a game. The ones who devote their lives to it for the most part insist that it's a science. It's neither. Bobby Fischer got underneath it like no one before and found at its center, art." — Searching For Bobby Fischer. ...

It's Hard Out There For A Billiken
To put Saint Louis University's loss to George Washington on Thursday into perspective, portly coach Rick Majerus himself could have played point guard for the Billikens, and it wouldn't have hurt. Final: GW 49, Saint Louis 20. That's the lowest total for an NCAA men's team since the shot clock was ...

When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....

Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....

Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....

Rory Sabbatini And Roo
Rick linked to this yesterday, but I don't care. Video of a masturbating kangaroo interrupting play at the Australian PGA Championship last week is exactly the type of "sports news without discretion" you come here for. Well, that, and Nightmare Ant....

Peyton's Good, But He'll Never Be A QB Like His Brother
About that "poor 1:00 game slate" thing: somehow I kept forgetting about the Indianapolis/Jacksonville game. Maybe we take for granted that they play twice a year and the matchup's always decent, or maybe it was just infected by all the other bad games much like Gary Gulman's theory about grapefruit...

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...

The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....

Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...

October Was Not Kind To The Bay Area
It's been a rough couple of weeks for sports fans in the ol' Bay Area. The Warriors look to have lost last year's sexy playoff mojo; the 49ers are struggling to even notch a 100 yards per game; and the Raiders keep finding (fairly impressive) ways to giveaway football games....

Detroit Lions Sweep The Leg On Broncos
The appetizers leading up to the Colts-Patriots were actually rather satisfying. Most of the games were very close in the fourth quarter, and a very large defensive lineman had to run fast. The Patriots-Colts, Texans-Raiders, and Seahawks-Browns are the only afternoon games. But first, let's look at...

One More Time To Kill the Pain
Well here we are, staring at what's likely to be the final game of the 2007 Major League Baseball season. If Leitch were here he'd probably be inconsolable, but I think I'm handling it just fine. After the marathon regular season the post season has been unremarkable at best. I'm ready for next year...

The 49ers Have Many Ways To Make You Hurl
Oh 49ers, what have you gotten yourselves into now? It seems that in order for the team to acquire the land that it needs for a proposed new stadium in Santa Clara, the 49ers would have to purchase and operate the Great America Amusement Park, which is next to the site. And what's more, the team is...

But Trent Edwards Holds No Touchdown Records
Bills 17, Jets 14 — The J.P. Losman era in Buffalo might go the way of William Henry Harrison after Trent Edwards' surprising 22-for-28, 234-yard performance. Jets fans are dismayed that their team lost, but encouraged that it was Chad Pennington's fault, since his last-ditch effort at the end the g...