5 Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Dada 5000 Was In Critical Condition And His Heart Stopped After Kimbo Slice Knocked Him Out
Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, was stretchered out of the ring yesterday after Kimbo Slice knocked him out in the third round (or more accurately, after he just sort of woozily collapsed and fell down). It was a strange ending to a strange fight, the line on which moved all the way to a pick ‘em afte...
Kimbo Slice Vs. Dada 5000 Match Ends In Predictably Hilarious, Stupid Fashion
Tonight’s much-hyped Bellator match between Kimbo Slice and Dada 5000 ended the way you probably expected: with one of the fighters being knocked out by his own girth and being stretchered out of the ring....
No One Showed Up To That Anti-Beyoncé Rally, Which Might've Been A Prank To Begin With
A whole bunch of Twitter eggs took offense with Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime performance of “Formation,” which used imagery inspired by the Black Panthers. It made excellent copy for the insatiable content mill which we all must feed—it’s good and healthy to make fun of stupid people—but it didn’t ...
Von Miller Explains Gravitational Waves On <i>Saturday Night Live</i>
Super Bowl MVP Von Miller made a guest appearance on SNL as Weekend Update’s science correspondent, and he’s not totally unqualified. As host Michael Che noted, Miller studied science at Texas A&M. (Poultry science.)...
Dan Fouts Made A Dumb CTE Joke About Boomer Esiason
Pretty much everybody missed this because nobody listens to the radio anymore, especially for the Super Bowl. But in the second quarter of the game Sunday, Westwood One analyst Dan Fouts made a stupid joke about Boomer Esiason having CTE when the former Bengals QB forgot in which game Peyton Manning...
The Super Bowl's Crappy Turf Made It Harder For Michael Oher To Block
Players on both Super Bowl teams were slipping and sliding on Levi’s Stadium’s notoriously bad turf, but this video, of Michael Oher being pushed backward despite having his feet planted, is especially comical:...
Cam Newton Had A Receiver Wide Open Before Von Miller Strip-Sacked Him
Von Miller’s strip-sack of Cam Newton with just over four minutes left to play will surely go down as the most memorable play of Super Bowl 50. But it’s hard not to wonder what would have happened if Miller had reached Newton just a second later. Based on the coaches film, it looks like the Panthers...
My Mom's Cool Report From The Broncos' Victory Parade
My mom works in Denver and has a window overlooking the site of the Broncos’ Super Bowl victory parade. She’s been texting me pictures and videos along with her commentary all day. Here now is her report from the scene....
Ron Rivera Has Cam Newton's Back On That Loose Ball
Von Miller’s second strip-sack of Cam Newton, which led to a touchdown that put the game away, will probably end up being the only long-memorable play from this Super Bowl. Not just because it was a crucial swing, but because it’ll forever be open to interpretation. What was Cam thinking?...
Conan Channels Cam Newton During Post-Joke Press Conference
Congratulations to Conan O’Brien, who managed to take the hot-take superfund site that was Cam Newton’s press conference and make it a set-up for a very enjoyable bit. I promise, this won’t annoy you at all!...
Aqib Talib Admits He Tried To Rip Corey Brown's Head Off On Purpose
It was a sloppy Super Bowl, sure, but it wasn’t a dirty one save for one play early in the second quarter, when Denver CB Aqib Talib grabbed hold of Carolina WR Corey Brown’s facemask and wrenched it as he rode Brown out of bounds, twisting like there was candy inside that could only be freed by pop...
Seahawks Defensive End Frank Clark On Cam Newton: "That Boy A Bitch"
Seahawks rookie defensive end Frank Clark, whose team lost to the Panthers in this year’s divisional round, has some thoughts about Cam Newton:...
After 38 Seasons, Wade Phillips Is A Guy With A Super Bowl Ring
Between Cam Newton’s unraveling and Peyton Manning’s brand smooching, you might be having a hard time finding something to be unabashedly happy about in the wake of Super Bowl 50. Allow me to submit Broncos defensive coordinator Wade Phillips as a target for adulation....
St. Louis Lawyer Buys Super Bowl Ad To Tell Stan Kroenke To Get Fucked
I put out a call during last night’s Super Bowl local ad break for the best and worst of your local markets, and got replies ranging from axe-murderer Joe Jacoby to HVAC-shilling Mike Tyson to an ad in Omaha for a male enhancement doctor who will make your dong so powerful it will leave your partner...
Nobody Much Likes Losing
Here are some opinions a reasonable person can hold, simultaneously and without friction:...
Did Cam Newton Leave His Press Conference Because He Could Hear Chris Harris Jr. Bragging?
Here’s a simultaneously hilarious and tragic bit of video that might throw a few kinks into everyone’s Cam Newton takes:...
Cam Fucking Blew It
If you hate Cam Newton, then yesterday was your Christmas because, in the span of roughly four hours, the Broncos defense systemically took apart Newton’s offense, his season, and his reputation. I spent the entire fourth quarter of that game expecting to Newton rediscover his mojo and make the game...
Thomas Davis's Surgically Repaired Arm Looked Like A Football
Panthers linebacker Thomas Davis, who tore his ACLs on three separate occasions in his NFL career, was already known for his resiliency. So, when Davis broke his right arm in the NFC championship game, had surgery, and vowed to play in the Super Bowl, his promise was taken seriously....
The First Person Peyton Manning Wanted To Kiss After Winning The Super Bowl Was Papa John
We noted last night that pretend-folksy pitchman Peyton Manning knows who butters his bread, but in case anyone missed it in the madness following Denver’s Super Bowl win we’ll highlight it here: while Cam Newton waited at midfield to offer what appeared to be gracious congratulations, Manning took ...