5 Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USWNT Shock Japan With Four Goals In Sixteen Minutes, Win World Cup
Soccer matches are 90 minutes long, and most of the time the ball is nowhere near a goal and 18 of the 22 players on the pitch are walking. But there are stretches—two minutes here, two seconds there—in which the players do unimaginable things with the ball and work with their teammates in a way tha...

Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor
While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as air...

U.S. Obliterating Japan, Now Up 4-0 As Lloyd Earns Hat Trick
Carli Lloyd is singlehandedly destroying Japan, having earned a hat trick just 15 minutes into today’s Women’s World Cup final with a long-range bomb that caught the keeper off her line. ...

Carli Lloyd Scores Twice In First Five Minutes As U.S. Start On Fire
Carli Lloyd has already scored twice in the first five minutes of tonight’s Women’s World Cup final against Japan, both off set plays. This is the start of which U.S. fans could only dream....

Here Is Your 2015 Women's World Cup Final Liveblog
Here we go. The United States women’s national team is taking on Japan in the World Cup final. Follow along as we yell and jingoistically babble our way through the game while the Americans attempt to Do The Whole Shit for the first time since 1999....

Helen Mirren Reads "Where The Sidewalk Ends" In Awesome Fox Promo
Fox’s Women’s World Cup coverage has been hit or miss, but this intro featuring Academy Award-winning actress Helen Mirren reading Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends” is simply outstanding. That’s Explosions In The Sky’s “Your Hand In Mine” as the music bed....

England Lose World Cup Semifinal In Most Heartbreaking Fashion Possible
For 90 minutes, England stood toe-to-toe with Japan. The match was tied 1-1, with each team having scored a penalty kick, and as the clock ticked into extra time, it looked like we would need 30 more minutes to decide the tie. And then, English defender Laura Bassett made a touch that will haunt her...

How The USWNT Finally Figured It Out
After toiling in mediocrity for the whole tournament, with players playing out of position, no organizational structure, and no defined individual roles, the USWNT finally came out last night looking like the World Cup favorites we all thought they’d be. Because of that, we’re left with one question...

USWNT Reach Their Potential, Beat Germany 2-0
It took six games, but against Germany, the number one ranked team in the world, the USWNT finally showed how well they can play. They got a very big break from a blown call for their first goal, but the Americans played better throughout the match and deserved their victory....

An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes
Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: ...

How The USWNT Can Beat Germany
So here we are, at the semifinals of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. There have been upsets, trash talk, and general FIFA-inflicted incompetence. After Germany escaped France last weekend, and the United States of America triumphed over China, this match between the world’s two top-ranked teams pro...

Inept FIFA Forces Women's World Cup Opponents To Share Hotel
Numerous times during the preparation for and staging of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, FIFA has made it clear that they don’t really give a shit about the women or teams involved. Here is another example. ...

FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit
Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that...

Meet The New Junior Raptors Mascots
The Toronto Raptors announced a new NBA D-League squad—Raptors 905—today, and with it came some new mascots. Several staffers here at Deadspin think they’re cute, but personally I’d have gone with something more memorable....

This Year's Home Run Derby Sounds Pretty Good, Actually
MLB released the format for this year’s Home Run Derby today. It’s, uh, different. ...

Japan Score Scruffy Goal From A Corner, Progress To World Cup Semifinal
Look, they won’t all be wondrous moves drenched with class, genius, and magic pixie dust. But a winner is a winner, and Japan finally got theirs near the very end of their quarterfinal matchup against Australia....

French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"
As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too hap...

France Built The World's Best Women's Soccer Team And Still Lost
Not even a minute into last night’s highly-anticipated, criminally-premature title fight that was France vs. Germany, Les Bleues were off on one of their typical jaunts towards goal, one that exemplified everything that makes them such a special team....