6 Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joel Embiid Says He Learned To Shoot By Watching White People Online
Joel Embiid, who’ll make his NBA debut tonight, wants our attention, so badly. He seeks it in many ways: by guzzling Shirley Temples by the syrupy pitcher, by clowning on Andrew Wiggins, or by publicly asking out Rihanna. And we give it to him, maybe a little begrudgingly, because the content is goo...
Trump Eventually Remembers Daughter<em></em>
As Donald Trump took some time off from the campaign trail to unveil his brand new D.C. hotel, he took a moment to bring his much beloved children on stage at the inaugural press conference, so he could show them off to the world. Tiffany Trump was also in attendance. ...
Remember When Donald Trump Got Booed For Butchering "Take Me Out To The Ballgame”?<em></em>
The day: July 9, 2000. The place: Wrigley Field. A young, 54-year-old fake billionaire with wild aspirations had been practicing singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” for two full weeks in preparation for his big debut. And as Donald Trump gleefully tore into the mic, an entire stadium began to boo....
Andrew Bogut Dunked On, This Time On Twitter <em></em>
Dallas Mavericks and former Golden State Warriors center Andrew Bogut’s political beliefs are exactly what you would expect them to be. He complains about the rappers, cars, and the bling bling in the NBA; goes on random right-wing podcasts; is anti-workers rights; and frequently tweets profoundly u...
Can Donald Trump Grow A Beard? An Investigation
Donald Trump’s sense of self-worth seems to be based entirely on his status as an alpha male. He’s obscenely competitive, feels entitled to women, and is apparently fixated on the size of his dick. One hyper-masculine symbol, however, appears to have eluded Trump his entire life, for Donald Trump ha...
Bobby Bowden Rambled For A Few Minutes At A Trump Rally Tonight
Legendary former FSU football coach Bobby Bowden spoke at a rally for Donald Trump this evening in Tampa. He mostly talked about the importance of having a strong military, and asked the crowd “Aren’t you getting tired of these other nations embarrassing us?”...
Let's Just Fix The Busted System Instead??
If your nation has a political system that is, by design, unfair for an enormous portion of your population, don’t bend yourself into pretzels trying to accommodate this bad system. Change the system, idiots! ...
An Ode To James Carville's Super Fucked-Up Glasses
This election has turned the country into a tar pit from which we will never escape, but it did give us one thing that has brought me great joy. That thing is political pundit James Carville’s busted-ass spectacles....
Hindus And Trump Rallied Together In A Xenophobic Fever Dream
Grab a plate of good, oily pav bhaji and watch a well-loved Indian movie star perform for thousands of immigrants. He greets the crowd in Tamil, jokes about jet lag, shimmies, and shimmers in the hallucinogenic stage lighting; the crowd squeezes as close as security will allow. Then watch as presid...
Wikileaks: Clinton Campaign Considered Having Her Make A "Yo Mama" Joke
Here’s a good one from the Clinton email leaks. Before a February campaign event in Birmingham, Al., a Hillary Clinton campaign staffer wrote a “Yo mama” joke into the speech, one which was eventually cut....
Is Eric Trump A Lemonade Thief?
The latest scandal out of Donald Trump’s campaign: Possible lemonade theft. It appears that Eric Trump, one of his five children, put lemonade in a water cup at an In-N-Out burger, which the restaurant frowns upon....
Donald Trump's Donation Ticker Is Actually Just A Sample File On Loop
Take a trip over to DonaldJTrump.com, and you’ll be greeted by the nice, prominent donation ticker you see above. The implication, of course, is that all these people have just added their name to Team Trump—and you should, too! Except that, at least according to the site’s source code, those “donat...
This Was The Only Good Part Of Tonight's Debate
In a brief battle over exactly how much Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin (is it just a lot or more than he loves his own children?), Trump offered the most infantile, absolutely incredible retort of his campaign thus far. Specifically, Trump went with the tried and true, “I know you are, but what a...
Kill The "Spin Room"
You know the “spin room”: it’s the place where, at the conclusion of a debate, a horde of reporters and campaign employees/hangers-on gather en masse to chatter cheerfully about the ghastly horrors just witnessed by the rest of America. What is the point of these discussions? Some spin room particip...
Donald Trump Just Called Hillary Clinton “A Nasty Woman” Out Of Nowhere
In the middle of a question about entitlement reform, as Hillary Clinton attacked Donald Trump over not paying his income taxes, Donald Trump blurted out of nowhere: “Such a nasty woman.” ...
Donald Trump Won't Say If He’ll Accept The Results Of The Election If He Loses<em></em>
Barring some monumental fuckup on the part of the Clinton campaign, Donald Trump will not be the next president of the United States. Over the past few months, he has repeatedly fed the notion that if he loses, it will be because of voter fraud or other illegal electoral malfeasance, not because of ...
Donald Trump On Sexual Assault Accusations: "I Don’t Know Those People"<em></em>
About two-thirds of the way into tonight’s debate, Chris Wallace finally brought up the many sexual assault allegations against Donald Trump that have been cropping up over the past week. Trump’s response: What women?...
Liveblogging The Last Presidential Debate Please God<em></em>
Twenty-six debates. After tonight, we will have suffered a total of 26 presidential and primary debates. I truly thought we’d be all be dead by now. ...
Joel Embiid Appears To Actually Be The Truth<em></em>
We rip on the Sixers more or less constantly because of their cynical, anti-fan approach to sports and their former tech-worshipping leader’s insane hubris, but goddamn it, Joel Embiid is actually cool. Please enjoy him dancing a bunch then casually flushing a huge windmill. ...