6 Page 63 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em><em></em>
Deadspin’s Christmas Day tradition returns. It is time to sound the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. Below are the strangest, most awkwardly shaped, and least pleasant objects that America has shoved into its various holes. God bless us, eve...

Deadspin's Favorite Sports Moments Of 2016
The Deadspin staff pick their favorite sports moments from 2016, and explain what made them so special. Here they are....

The Least Important Writers Of 2016
Congratulations to all the wieners. ...

The Year In Ted Cruz Humiliations
There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years....

Nerlens Noel And The Sixers Are Reaching A Breaking Point
Before the Sixers’ season even started, Nerlens Noel understood that there were too many large dudes in Philly and too few good ideas about what to do with them. But because Noel has been recovering from knee surgery, it was only last Friday that the Sixers had to confront this nauseating truth head...

The Worst Tweets Of 2016
Everyone should be ashamed of themselves....

Nerlens Noel On 76ers' Center Situation: "Need To Figure That Shit Out"
Three months ago, Nerlens Noel said that he had no idea how the Philadelphia 76ers were going to handle having three true centers on the roster. Now, he knows how they’re handling it—by playing him a whole lot less. And he’s pissed, as he told reporters after last night’s loss to the Los Angeles Lak...

Is This What We Want?
Ultimately, we are the ones who decide what we will demand from the people we put into power. Which is why we will always get what we deserve. ...

Lakers Decide Not To Stay At Trump-Branded Hotel Over "Security Concerns"
According to a report from the Los Angeles Times, the Los Angeles Lakers will not be staying at the Trump SoHo hotel this week. They were initially scheduled to stay there in advance of their game in Brooklyn against the Nets on Wednesday, but they decided not to because of “security concerns.” Supp...

Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...

My Combo Of The Year
It’s time to announce my combo of the year. ...

Liberals Cheering On The Electoral College Dope Who Won't Vote For Donald Trump Is Really Frightening
Last night, the New York Times published an editorial written by Christopher Surpun, a “Republican presidential elector” from Texas who says that he will not cast his electoral college vote for Donald Trump, despite Trump winning the state by nine points. Surpun doesn’t say who he will vote for, but...

Sixers-Kings Game Cancelled After Philadelphia Stadium Sweats All Over Everything
The Sixers were supposed to tip off against the Kings at 7:07 tonight, but instead of some incompetent basketball, fans in Philly were treated to a bunch of dudes mopping a floor for 20 minutes. Officials decided to postpone the game shortly after, but didn’t make an announcement for an hour. The mo...

Sam Hinkie Lets It All Out In New<i> Sports Illustrated</i> Profile
Sports Illustrated’s Chris Ballard has just published a profile of former Sixers GM Sam Hinkie. It might be my favorite sports story of the year, and you should go read it immediately, because if you had any lingering doubts about whether Sam Hinkie is really like that, this story will put those dou...

Report: Kenya's Olympic Team Was Torpedoed By Their Own Comically Corrupt Officials<em></em>
Kenya finished the Rio Olympics with 13 track and field medals, second only to the United States who finished with 32. That’s a gulf, not a gap, but after reading details about how thoroughly the team was sold up the river by their own Olympic committee, I’m impressed that Kenya managed that many....

Who Lost The White House?
After a long, ugly, and immensely stupid presidential election, a modest plurality of a little more than half of voting-age Americans voted to make a deeply loathed avatar of the despised political establishment the next President of the United States. Unfortunately, they were improperly geographica...

LeBron James Blocks Layup With His Presence
I’m putting the full highlight reel from LeBron James’s 26-10-13 beatdown of the Sixers in this post, because maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve taken a few minutes to really enjoy a set of vintage LeBron James highlights. If you want to see a few bulldozing drives to the rim, some adept and punish...

Daniel Cormier Withdraws From UFC 206 Main Event Fight
Poor Daniel Cormier. A few months after Jon Jones was forced out of his UFC 200 rematch against Cormier for a positive drug test, Cormier will now have to miss his light heavyweight title defense against Anthony “Rumble” Johnson at UFC 206 on Dec. 10 with an injury. MMAFighting first reported the ne...

Gifts For People Who Are Sick Of Stupid Party Games
Playing board games at holiday gatherings, parties, or anywhere else should be fun. It usually isn’t, because the most popular party games are awful....

How To Talk To Your Shithead Liberal Nephew Over The Holidays<em></em>
Congratulations! You won the election. Not you, specifically—unless you’re reading this, Mr. Trump, which, now that your name is in it, you probably are—but your people: Real American Men, where “real” means over 45 and white, “American” means suburban- or rural-residing, and “men” means what it use...