8 Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBA Auctions Off What J.R. Smith Wore When He Lost What Was Left Of His Dignity
A token of J.R. Smith’s eternal shame is up for sale on the NBA’s auction site. “He played 38 minutes and registered 10 points with 2 assists and 6 rebounds,” reads the very charitable caption. In some sense, this is the greatest piece of LeBron James memorabilia that money could buy....
Landon Donovan Wins Biggest Asshole Award In Dumb Soccer Fandom Controversy
If you want to learn about a completely mind-numbing “controversy” about who is and is not allowed to root for which national team at the World Cup, and in the process become more convinced that there isn’t much brain behind that enormous forehead of Landon Donovan’s, then you’ve come to the right p...
These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
We’re nearly through one full cycle of World Cup group play, which means I have watched more soccer in the past four days than I had in the previous four years. And do I have takes. Here now, the teams that are clearly frauds and some others that might be....
Chicharito Earned Those Tears
Javier “Chicharito” Hernández was not the best Mexican player on the field in Sunday’s World Cup match against Germany. That honor probably belongs to goal-scorer Hirving Lozano, or any of El Tri’s defensive midfielders and center backs who spent the game stoning Germany’s attacks. Hernández was not...
Panama Have Already Reached The Promised Land
For most teams in the competition, the World Cup is an opportunity. Once a team has qualified for the big tournament, they then set their sights on what success at the World Cup would look like, and then they endeavor to go realize that success. What counts as success of course varies from country t...
Brazil Continue Trend Of Underperforming Favorites, Draw With Switzerland
It turns out Philippe Coutinho’s monster goal in the first half of Brazil-Switzerland was not a harbinger of things to come. Brazil had about a 20 minute stretch of transcendent, dominant play, oriented more or less around Coutinho’s golazo, but spent most of the rest of the match squandering posses...
Philippe Coutinho Rips A Mighty Golazo To Put Brazil Ahead Of Switzerland
Mexico’s goal against Germany was satisfying, with the tidal motion of action suddenly surging the opposite way, and clean and purposeful passing, and a slick little first touch move followed by a sharp little strike. Lovely. But give me this here goal, from Philippe Coutinho in the 20th minute of t...
Mexico Upset Defending Champs In Germany's First World Cup Opener Loss Since 1982
Defending World Cup champs Germany were upset in their opener Sunday by a gutsy and tough-as-nails Mexico side, 1-0. There have been some surprising results in the tournament so far—Iceland drawing Argentina, Portugal drawing Spain—but this is the first holy shit upset....
The Kings Are Going To Screw This Up Somehow
Any and all pre-draft player prognostication must come with the caveat that no one actually knows anything, at this point. DeAndre Ayton might turn out to be Michael Olowokandi 2.0; Marvin Bagley III could wind up being another Justise Winslow; It’s not impossible that Luka Dončić is in fact Mario H...
Beer For Herbs Calls Itself "Lebron Tears"
An undeniable spoil of victory is the unassailable right to talk mad shit about your vanquished foes, forever, no matter their prominence nor how splendidly they performed. The Warriors are very good at this, as in the case of Draymond Green using t-shirts to mock LeBron James after each of the last...
Germany Aren't Very German, But They Are Still Amazing Anyway
National identities in soccer are real. Mostly they emerge from the styles of play and the youth coaching methods that predominate in any given country’s soccer setup, and the values those styles and methods reflect. There is a reason why Brazil are almost always led by graceful and expressive attac...
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group H, In (Almost) One Minute
The 2018 World Cup has now commenced. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group H, all in one neat little video....
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group G, In (Almost) One Minute<em></em>
The 2018 World Cup has now commenced. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group G, all in one neat little video....
Cristiano Ronaldo Caps Incredible Game With Incredible Hat-Trick Free-Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo just played one of the best games of his life. He was outstanding throughout today’s Portugal-Spain match, holding up play like a champ, giving life to numerous counterattacks with ingenious flicks and passes, and, oh yeah, scoring three goddamn goals in what ended as a 3-3 tie. Hi...
Ugly Boner Gifts Ronaldo His Second Goal Of The World Cup
A pretty goofy first half between Portugal and Spain ended with a huge momentum swing for Portugal thanks to a giant boner from Spanish goalie David de Gea, normally one of the best shot stoppers in the world....
Morocco Lose On Soul-Crushing Own Goal In 95th Minute
Iran and Morocco were locked into a tense scoreless draw for over an hour and a half until Moroccan striker Aziz Bouhaddouz broke the deadlock with a brilliant header to the near post in the fifth minute of injury time. Unfortunately, it was past his own keeper....
Morocco Player Physically Restrained From Re-Entering Game After Bashing Head Against The Ground
Moroccan midfielder Nordin Amrabat had to come out of today’s group stage match against Iran after slamming his head into the ground in the 72nd minute. Before eventually being subbed out, a clearly wobbly Amrabat had to be prevented from going back onto the pitch by two trainers....
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group F, In (Almost) One Minute
The 2018 World Cup has now commenced. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group F, all in one neat little video....
Cristiano Ronaldo Beats Lionel Messi (At Tax Evasion)
Real Madrid and Portugal striker Cristiano Ronaldo has reportedly settled his tax fraud charges with Spanish authorities, agreeing to pay $21.7 million, or approximately €18.7 million, to stay out of prison and receive only a suspended two-year sentence. Ronaldo’s achievement breaks the tax evasion...
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group E, In (Almost) One Minute<em></em>
The 2018 World Cup has now commenced. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group E, all in one neat little video....