8 Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Video Of Chris Berman In 1984, Seemingly Before His Testicles Descended
This is video of a SportsCenter update from Christmas 1984. It's exceptional in every way you might imagine it to be....
UFC 118: Boxing's Fat Fool Goes Down, And UFC's Juggernaut Rolls On, Now With Tits And Air Cannons
BOSTON — The UFC's first trip to Boston played pretty much to script: Fans were boozy, violent, excellent; the sound system blasted House of Pain and Dropkick Murphys; and James Toney's reputation as the fat Fool of boxing remained intact, even if his head did not....
UFC 118: The Wit And Wisdom Of James Toney, MMA's New Big Swinging Freak Show
James Toney may get thumped tonight by Randy Couture at UFC 118, but he's already triumphed in the promotional battle in customary fashion — by sounding like a drunk Clubber Lang practicing the dozens inside a dumpster....
Time for Quote of the Day Nominations
"Shooting 18-over par is not fun," Tiger Woods who, on Sunday, finished with the highest 72-hole score - 298 - of any PGA Tour event he ever played, even as an amateur. [AP]...
Philadelphia Wing Bowl 18: They Did It All For The Snooki
Brian P. Hickey woke up at 5 a.m. today to go watch the 18th annual Philadelphia azzzhole convention known as the "The Wing Bowl." He filed this report.(See Philly.com's full Wing Bowl Gallery here.)...
The Breasty, Pukey, Fighty Majesty Of Philadelphia's Wing Bowl
Brian Hickey spent his morning taking in the sprawling mess of Frank's Red Hot depravity that is Philly's annual "Wing Bowl" gorgefest (featuring "Snooki," of course). He'll have his full report later, but here's a photo primer. (NSFWish)...
John Starks Wants To Help You Transition Out Of Your Pants
Starks on his new zippered-pants company: "Not just basketball, but tennis, soccer, track and field, whatever you have to do to be able to transition in and out of your pants, we want to be leaders in that space." [TrueHoop]...
Look Who's Tweeting
Why, it's none other than Tony La Russa, the Kant of the lineup card and a onetime litigant against Twitter. Like everyone else, he's following @Alyssa_Milano. [@TonyLaRussa, RFT]...
You Have Less Than A Decade To Learn How To Curl
Only three cities—Munich, Germany; Annecy, France; and Pyeongchang, South Korea—have applied to host the 2018 Winter Olympics. Guess no one wants all those snowboarders taking all their weed. [AP]...
Eagerly Awaiting Tony La Russa's Postseason Implosion
The best thing about having the Cardinals around in October is the inevitable moment when La Russa, lineup-card philosopher and Buzz Bissinger's kewpie doll, gets bounced on his ass by a team that realizes the game is baseball, not chess....
Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....
Big Leaguers Just Wanna Use Gordon Beckham's Love Tonight
Everyone wants a piece of Gordon Beckham. And by everyone, I mean, of course, the throngs of Chicago women wearing his T-shirt jersey and his fellow big leaguers who are copping his swoon-worthy at-bat music....
Creativity In Full Bloom On The Kentucky Minor League Circuit
The Lexington Legends have a passionate hometown fan base that loves to let opposing players know they're appreciated for all their hard work and effort. Especially on dollar beer night. [Horace Grant Halftime Report/Intentional Foul]...
In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...
Jack Clark: Still Hating On The Mets
Back in the days of the old National League East, it was the St. Louis Cardinals that declared themselves mortal enemies of the New York Mets. But even time and realignment can't stop Jack Clark from holding a grudge....
What We Learned About The 2009 Wimbledon Champion
"Every tennis lover would like, someday, to play like Federer," Philippe Bouin tells Cynthia Gorney of The New York Times Magazine for this week's cover story. "But every man wants to be Rafael Nadal. Which is different."...
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>Strokes of Genius</em>
Sports Illustrated's Jon Wertheim uses the 2008 Wimbledon final to reflect on Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and their rivalry, begetting "the greatest tennis match every played," the 2008 Wimbledon Final. Buy it here, if you're feeling frisky....
Chicago Fire Fans Take Their Name Quite Literally
Houston Dynamo announcer on the Chicago Fire's Section 8 celebrating its Friday night with flares: "That is a thing of beauty. You're not going to see that at an NBA game."...
Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...
Denver Nuggets Do Not Feel Remorse Or Pity
The Nuggets beat the Hornets by 58 points last night, tying an NBA record for heartless cruelty. Why do you make them hit you like that, New Orleans? [ProBasketballNews; Denver Stiffs]...