9 Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh Hefner Goes to Madden Launch Parties?
And they serve Madden-tinis there? Whoever came up with that concept needs to be forced to watch the entire season ofTell Me You Love Me without the sex scenes. Look, I play video games. Occasionally I get to have sex. But have we really gotten to the point where sex and video games are wedded this...

Joe Montana And Matt Leinart, BFF, Or Something
It has been amusing, as we flip through the NFL season preview mags we keep buying — are they always out this early? — is that every single one of them mentions Matt Leinart's fun-loving beer bonging. As we said from the get-go, the reason those pictures took off was because they fit into an existin...

Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...

Favre To Grace Cover Of Madden '09, It Seems
This not-so-wild speculation courtesy of GameDaily — and seemingly confirmed Awful Announcing and by us, through a source who was at the Letterman taping that airs tonight — reveals that Brett Favre will be on the cover of the Madden 09....

The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...

Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...

Alex Smith Is A Little Looser When South Of The Border
Didn't Alex Smith attend college in Utah, where drunkenly attempting to eat girls' faces is prohibited? (unless they're one of your wives, that is). Hey, who cares! We're in Mexico! Finally, my frequent visits to 49ersnews pay off....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while exercising ... • 7 p.m. — Womens Final Four: Connecticut vs. Stanford; LSU vs. Tennessee. It's going to be UConn-Tennessee again, so why bother? [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Chicago White Sox at Detroit Tigers. Save some run support for the rest of the team, Brandon Inge. You wouldn't ...

At Last, The Glory Of Youkilis Is Introduced To Japan
Well, it's doesn't feel the start of the baseball season tomorrow morning — jeez, like, 11 hours from now — but it is, in fact, the beginning: The Red Sox and the A's, in the Tokyo Dome, 6 a.m., baseball is here ... kind of....

Lunch Break With Judas Priest
Clare, get a Flyers chant going on while I'm gone....

It's Hard Out There For A Billiken
To put Saint Louis University's loss to George Washington on Thursday into perspective, portly coach Rick Majerus himself could have played point guard for the Billikens, and it wouldn't have hurt. Final: GW 49, Saint Louis 20. That's the lowest total for an NCAA men's team since the shot clock was ...

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...

The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....

Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...

October Was Not Kind To The Bay Area
It's been a rough couple of weeks for sports fans in the ol' Bay Area. The Warriors look to have lost last year's sexy playoff mojo; the 49ers are struggling to even notch a 100 yards per game; and the Raiders keep finding (fairly impressive) ways to giveaway football games....

The Video Game Version Of What You'd Look Like Playing Hockey
This is Shawn Chambers, who played 23 years in the NHL and won two Stanley Cups. He also has a more modern, odder distinction: He's the worst video game athlete in history....

The 49ers Have Many Ways To Make You Hurl
Oh 49ers, what have you gotten yourselves into now? It seems that in order for the team to acquire the land that it needs for a proposed new stadium in Santa Clara, the 49ers would have to purchase and operate the Great America Amusement Park, which is next to the site. And what's more, the team is...