9 Page 76 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gerrit Cole Made Mincemeat Out Of The Rays
Game 5 of the American League* Divisional Series between the Astros and Rays functionally ended in the first inning. Not because the Astros put 10 runs on the board, a la the Cardinals, but because they put more than a single run on the board, in a game in which they had the insane and unfair Gerrit...
The Mystics Did The Shit
The Washington Mystics used a strong fourth-quarter surge and the interior dominance of series MVP Emma Meesseman to overcome a second-half Connecticut Sun lead, then confidently held the relentless visitors at arm’s length down the stretch to win Game 5, 89–78, and capture the franchise’s first eve...
Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt Gets All Fucking Riled Up After Beating The Fucking Braves
After the Cardinals tore the Braves a new asshole in Wednesday’s series-clinching 13–1 Game 5 win, Cards manager Mike Shildt ripped them yet another poop valve in his triumphant, fuck-laden postgame talk in front of his team:...
Howie Kendrick Finally Has A Legacy
You’d be forgiven, Nats fans, if you wanted Howie Kendrick out of the game long before his instantly legendary grand slam in the top of the 10th that won the Nationals their first-ever playoff series. Kendrick, despite turning in a pleasant surprise of a 2019 season that saw him become one of Washin...
Clayton Kershaw Will Never Get Over It
Clayton Kershaw was on in the eighth for two batters, and two batters only, no matter how he looked, no matter the result. Kenta Maeda was warm and ready, and after Kershaw faced Anthony Rendon and Juan Soto, Maeda would come in for a string of righties. So, just two batters, with a two-run lead. Ke...
Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers Choke Away Game 5 In Stunning Fashion
Oh man. The Dodgers absolutely cruised through seven innings at home against the Nationals Wednesday night, in Game 5 of their divisional series. Walker Buehler was once again dominant. Postseason beast Max Muncy and Kiké Hernández pounced on opportunities presented by Stephen Strasburg’s early comm...
Kurt Suzuki Leaves NLDS Game 5 After Taking Deflected Fastball To The Face
Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki was taken out of Wednesday night’s Game 5 against the Los Angeles Dodgers when a high-and-tight fastball from Walker Buehler deflected off his wrist and into his face in the top of the seventh inning. The impact was audible, and Suzuki crashed to the ground a...
Braves Fans Perform First-Inning Tomahawk Chop, Watch Their Team Immediately Melt Down Like Chernobyl
The Atlanta Braves selectively and cynically scrubbed the “tomahawk chop” celebration ahead of Wednesday’s Game 5 against the St. Louis Cardinals. This did not go far enough, as was evidenced by defiant Braves fans loudly performing the chop almost immediately after the start of the game. Moments la...
Richard Sherman Says He'll Apologize To Baker Mayfield Over Disputed Handshake Snub
Peace has been achieved in our time. One day after Richard Sherman’s claim that Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield snubbed him in a handshake line was alternately proven and disproven by a multitude of new angles, the 49ers cornerback conceded that he may have gotten too far out over his skis. Sherma...
A Brief Interview With A Man Who Faithfully Recreates LeBron's Instagram As If He Were A Giraffe
An artist who goes by “Maso Rich” has produced hyper-faithful, parallel-universe versions of the Instagram accounts of LeBron James and Steph Curry. In these universes, LeBron is a giraffe and Steph, in an inspired bit of casting, is a bush baby. Deadspin spoke with Maso Rich on the phone to underst...
Rays Win Bullpen Game Over Justin Verlander To Send Series Back To Houston
The Rays roughed up Game 1 winner and eclipse lover Justin Verlander Tuesday night, got nine innings of tough pitching from their bullpen, and grabbed a 4–1 win to send their ALDS series against the Astros back to Houston for a winner-take-all Game 5. The Rays, who were widely considered to be chum ...
The Richard Sherman-Baker Mayfield Handshake Controversy Has Deepened And Dumbened
It is time now to enter the depths of Handshakeghazi....
The 49ers Had A Great Time Humiliating Baker Mayfield
This has been said many times before, but the Cleveland Browns asked for this. All the hype and shit-talking that followed them throughout the preseason set them up precisely for the kind of embarrassing loss they had last night. Not only did the 49ers beat them 31-3, they took every opportunity to ...
Are The 49ers For Real?
As five weeks is usually more than sufficient time to establish the true pecking order in the National Football League, it is now clear that Super Bowl LIV (as opposed to Super Bowl LUV) will feature the New England Patriots and San Francisco 49ers....
How Is The Twins' Playoff Losing Streak Even Possible?
The last time the Minnesota Twins won a playoff game, Shannon Stewart knocked in Michael Cuddyer for the go-ahead run, Jacque Jones homered, and Johan Santana threw seven scoreless innings as the Twins beat the Yankees in Game 1 of the 2004 ALDS. The next night, Hideki Matsui singled off J.C. Romero...
Maybe The 49ers Are Good <i>And </i>The Browns Are Bad
The Cleveland Browns’ dewy preseason vainglory wouldn’t be especially bothersome had it not (a) convinced people that sucking for a long time is shrewd and reasonable; and (b) compelled whoever’s in charge to slot the Browns in four primetime games this season. Monday night, the joke was on them. Th...
Yankees Complete Sweep Of Twins, Barf Barf Barf
The Yankees completed a three-game sweep of the Twins Monday night, with a 5–1 win in Minnesota to end their American League divisional series. These games were not close. The Yankees scored 23 runs in the series, to the Twins’ seven. Every other divisional series is still active, with both National...
Grunting Max Scherzer Gave The Nationals Everything He Had, And Just What They Needed
Davey Martinez and the Washington Nationals didn’t resort to another bullpen appearance from a starting pitcher Monday night, thank God. That’s a gimmick that was bound to fail the more it’s used, either spectacularly and all at once, or cumulatively, or both. It already blew up in their faces Sunda...
Yadier Molina Flipped His Bat To The Moon After Game-Winning Sacrifice Fly
The St. Louis Cardinals evened up their NLDS series against the Atlanta Braves Monday night, on a 10th-inning sacrifice fly to left field to score Kolten Wong. It was Molina’s second big feat of batsmanship of the game, and he was super-duper pumped to have driven in the winning run. So pumped, in f...
Joe Biden Tweets Best Recovery Wishes To Elena Delle Donne, Literally While She Is Playing In The WNBA Finals
Democratic presidential candidate and absolute spring chicken Joe Biden, who definitely has a very strong sense of what’s going on around him at all times and does not appreciate you constantly dabbing at his chin with a handkerchief, took some time out of his busy campaign schedule Sunday to wish M...