9 Page 86 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lift Stanley And Play "Gloria"
The St. Louis Blues are Stanley Cup champions. Say it to yourself, because no one’s ever been able to say it before. Swish it around in your mouth like a sommelier, picking out notes of gratification, bliss, and disbelief. Do not spit it out, because when you win the Stanley Cup, you keep drinking. ...
St. Louis Blues Win Stanley Cup In Game 7 By Humiliating Some Losers Who Can't Handle Jordan Binnington
The Blues frickin’ did it. After sloppily face-planting in a Game 6 clinch opportunity at home, the St. Louis Blues bounced back and won Game 7 in enemy territory on Wednesday night by a score of 4-1. In doing so, captain Alex Pietrangelo hoisted his franchise’s first-ever Stanley Cup since the Blue...
Nigeria's Asisat Oshoala Finally Shows The World Who She Is
The World Cup is a showcase—of the sport, its teams, and its individual talents. It’s also a competition that crowns the best soccer nation in the world, but only a handful of teams realistically can lift the trophy, and only one will. As a month-long tournament that primarily pits teams with no sho...
Megan Rapinoe Refuses To Apologize For The USWNT's Crime Of Being Happy After Doing Cool Things
The United States beat Thailand by a 13-0 scoreline on Tuesday, setting a new World Cup record for the largest margin of victory. In the process of making history, the USWNT players were pretty happy. Clearly, as certain moral pillars on Canadian and even American TV pointed out, this was a very bad...
The USWNT's Blowout Of Thailand Inspires Indignant Pearl-Clutching From Canadian Soccer Pundits
A self-serious, chiding, in all likelihood jealous quartet of talking heads went on Canadian TV yesterday and, in discussing what they characterized as the “disgraceful” way the USWNT went about trouncing Thailand in the Women’s World Cup, proceeded to hump the notion of sportsmanship to within an i...
Rob Stone Suggests The USWNT Should've Eased Up, Gets Soundly Rejected
The USWNT had just put the finishing touches on the most lopsided beatdown in the history of the World Cup when Fox Sports analyst Rob Stone put his foot into his mouth in the name of sportsmanship....
Every USWNT Goal Against Thailand, Ranked
If you haven’t heard, the United States puréed Thailand by a score of 13-0 in their 2019 Women’s World Cup opening match today. You don’t score 13 goals without at least some of them being nice, so here’s an objectively correct ranking of every goal:...
Here Are All 13 Goals In The USWNT's Obliteration Of Thailand
The USWNT opened its 2019 Women’s World Cup with a match against Thailand. That match has just ended. The final score was 13-0, the most lopsided World Cup scoreline of all time. Here is what scoring 13 goals in a single game looks like:...
Thailand's World Cup Hopes Could Hinge On Not Getting Stomped By The USWNT
In a few hours’ time, barring a sequence of events so improbable as to not even merit serious concern, the USWNT will have easily beaten Thailand in the two countries’ opening 2019 Women’s World Cup match. The extent of that essentially guaranteed result—as in, whether the U.S.’s impending victory l...
The Warriors Need DeMarcus Cousins Now, Which Is Concerning For Everyone Involved
Kevin Durant is short a limb. Kevon Looney’s ribs are splayed open like a blooming onion. Andre Iguodala has rocks in his shoes. The Warriors need two more wins, and medicine is not on their side. DeMarcus Cousins is, though....
Kyle Lowry Deserves No Slander This Time
Just to get this out of the way: Draymond Green got his fingers on the ball. The one body who guards two bodies like perhaps no other player in NBA history did it all over again. Green denied Marc Gasol the ball by fronting, then scooted out to poke Lowry’s potential game-winner behind the backboard...
The USWNT Is Better Than Ever, But So Is Everyone Else
The United States enter the World Cup as the best in the world, the team with the most top-to-bottom talent, and the reigning champions. They also enter the tournament facing the toughest field in the competition’s history, and though they have improved over the last four years in key places, they a...
There's Nothing Quite Like Draymond Green At Full Speed
Draymond Green’s curse (well, other than the invisible backpack) is that no matter how good he gets at basketball, the most immediately and undeniably impressive basketball feats, the truly unmistakable displays of superhuman ability, will never be available to him. He will never pour on the hailsto...
Sweden Will Live Or Die By Their Conservative Philosophy
The most famous United States result since the win in the 2015 World Cup final happened in Brazil in the summer of 2016. It was the Summer Olympics, and Sweden turtled up to frustrate the Americans in the quarterfinals, grinding out a 35 percent-possession 1-1 draw before winning on penalties. It’s ...
Who The Hell Knows How This Ends, But At Least It's Not Without A Fight
Nope, I have nothing for you. I cannot explain how the Golden State Warriors won Game 5 of the NBA Finals, and neither can any of you. A team in tatters refused to shred, and it remains obstinate in the face of a hockey team’s list of injuries. This is almost not at all about the Toronto Raptors any...
The Netherlands Had To Score A Supremely Stupid Goal To Beat New Zealand
This is why you do not commit to defending for 70 percent of a match. Late in an exciting 0-0 deadlock, New Zealand was managing to hold off the vaunted Netherlands attack through a combination of parking the bus, some nifty goalkeeping from Erin Nayler, and solid individual showcases from center ba...
Who's To Blame?
The reactions to a catastrophic NBA injury usually unfold in very simple terms. Stomachs drop, deep sympathies are expressed for the player involved, and everyone moves on while shaking their heads and grumbling about how sometimes life just isn’t fair. Rarely do such injuries lead to the general ma...
It's Great That Chile Are Here, But They Will Probably Get Torn To Shreds
Like pretty much every South American women’s team not named Brazil, Chile have forever struggled for attention and support from their country. While men’s soccer dominates the minds of fans, Chile’s women hadn’t qualified for a single Olympics or World Cup before this year. How could they hope to w...
The Raptors Blew It
Coming close hurts all the more when you can quantify just how close you came. One shot, or one missed shot, or one call the other way, or ... one timeout? The Raptors came oh so close to winning a championship Monday night, and it’s not the one-point final margin that’ll stick in craws and steal sl...
Kevin Durant's Achilles Injury Sounds Like Bad News All The Way Around
Warriors president of basketball operations Bob Myers spoke at the postgame podium Monday night following his team’s 106–105 victory over the Toronto Raptors in Game 5. That’s an unusual step for a personnel honcho, but these are unusual circumstances—it fell to Myers to announce that Durant’s injur...