a-league Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Usain Bolt Is A Soccer Player Now And He's Actually Not Terrible
Usain Bolt may have retired from track, but he hasn’t given up sports entirely. He is currently signed to a trial contract with the Central Coast Mariners, an Australia A-League team, trying to realize his dream of becoming a pro soccer player. He made his official debut in a preseason friendly last...
A Two-Win Team Won The Arena Football League Title
The Washington Valor won the ArenaBowl on Saturday night, beating the Baltimore Brigade, 69-55, to capture the 31st title of the Arena Football League. Arvell Nelson led the way for the Valor with five rushing touchdowns and three TDs through the air. ...
Arsenal Have A New Manager, But Still Don't Seem To Know Who They Want To Be
Arsenal have been in the midst of an identity crisis for some time now. Once it became clear that the club’s iconic, long-serving manager Arsène Wenger had seen his once-adamantine grasp on the levers of success steadily loosen over the years—a slackening some overly unsympathetic spectators might s...
Arsenal Snatch Draw From The Jaws Of Victory
This afternoon in London, Arsenal put together the most fitting possible tribute to lame-duck manager Arsene Wenger by gagging up a result to Atlético Madrid in the Europa League semifinals in rather embarrassing fashion. Arsenal played almost all of the of the game up a man, thanks to some poor ref...
Aaron Ramsey's Side-Foot Volley <i>Golazo</i> Is Cool As Hell
Arsenal blew the doors off a geriatric CSKA Moscow team in the Europa League today, winning by a score of 4-1. The best goal of the bunch was this beautiful little flick that came off the side of Aaron Ramsey’s foot:...
UEFA Gets Rid Of Dumb Rule That Keeps Cool Players On The Sidelines
Are you a Barcelona fan angry that the team’s chances of winning the treble this year are significantly hampered because Philippe Coutinho isn’t allowed to play in the Champions League? Are you a Gooner worried that Arsenal might fail to win the Europa League and in the process consign the once prou...
Arsène Wenger Narrowly Avoids Humiliating, Possibly Career-Ending Loss
We may have just come as close as ever to seeing the end of the Arsène Wenger era at Arsenal as the Gunners just barely squeaked into the next round of the Europa League. So ... hooray?...
CSKA Moscow Fans Delay Match With Spectacular Flares
Traveling Russian fans delayed the second half of CSKA Moscow’s Europa League draw against Red Star Belgrade thanks to a terrifying flare offensive. The Moscow faithful set off a fiery blaze during the break and the pyrotechnics created a spectacularly hellish effect, with a wall of flames lining th...
Alexandre Lacazette Is Injured And Arsenal Might Be Screwed
Arsenal came into this past weekend’s must-win North London Derby and proceeded to get comprehensively smashed up by their fiercest rivals in a manner that would’ve cratered the Gunners’ confidence if not for the fact that it’s been evident for so long now that Tottenham are simply a much better tea...
Ugly Soccer Match Becomes Much Better After Dog Invades The Pitch
Macedonian club Vardar hosted Norway’s Rosenborg in blah blah blah oh wow, look at this cute doggy that interrupted the game!...
Patrice Evra Suspended, Cut From Team After Kicking Fan In The Face
Last week, Marseille defender Patrice Evra roundhoused one of his team’s fans in the face before a Europa League match and was suspended indefinitely by his club while they awaiting UEFA’s official punishment. That official punishment has now come down, and it will end Evra’s season and perhaps care...
Patrice Evra Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts After Kicking Fan In The Head
Former Manchester United defender and current Marseille player Patrice Evra will not play in his team’s Europa League match today after he channeled his inner Eric Cantona and karate kicked a fan of his own team in the face. Here’s a photo of the incident:...
Everton Supporters Join In Fight With Lyon Players
Today’s Everton-Lyon Europa League match at Goodison Park featured fan participation as a fight between players came close enough to the seats that some supporters themselves entered the fray to have a few blows....
Olivier Giroud Saves Arsenal With Absurd Golazo
Mediocre Premier League side Arsenal went to Belgrade today to take on Red Star Belgrade in some Europa League action. They played a baffling lineup, and the hosts managed to stymie them all game, until Olivier Giroud hit this weird 85th-minute winner after manufacturing an angle by basically taking...
Bad Soccer Teams Should Stop Shooting Their Own Dicks Off By Playing From The Back
Hey, shitty teams. A humble request: How about you stop giving up the easiest goals imaginable, making enormous errors in some misguided effort to play “beautiful soccer” and build up play from the back, and instead just lump the ball forward when facing your betters? This scourge must be stopped....
Goalkeeper Gifts Arsenal A Goal With Atrocious Boner
Playing out from the back can be good. It’s great to have a goalkeeper who is good with his feet and comfortable passing the ball around with opponents zipping at him. But this kind of dicking around on the ball and giving it straight to an opponent in literally the worst area of the pitch is unforg...
40-Yard Strike Gives Köln Early Lead As Arsenal's Humiliation Hits New Low
Christ, man. This almost feels like the moment where Arsenal’s continually escalating woes cease being hilarious and start being actively depressing. Almost, that is....
Arsenal-Köln Match Delayed After Rowdy Germans Get Way Too Rowdy
In the most predictable turn of events ever, those estimated 20,000 loud and rowdy Köln fans that traveled to London for today’s Europa League match against Arsenal have gone from being endearingly unruly to actively dangerous—so much so that the match has been delayed for security concerns....
Arsenal, England Owned By Rowdy Germans
Hot, steamy Europa League action kicks off this afternoon, and the formerly great Premier League club Arsenal’s first opponent will be the German Bundesliga’s FC Koln, whose fans took an approximately 600 kilometer trip on a Thursday in order to completely overtake the streets of London. These incre...
Gylfi Sigurdsson Drops In A Goal From The Heavens
Oh man, this is some way to introduce yourself to your new fans. In only his second appearance for Everton, Gylfi Sigurdsson has just scored this insane blast from the middle of the park against Hajduk Split in a Europa League qualifying match:...