a Page 7131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
High-School Hockey Player Suffers Severed Spinal Cord After Accidental Check
"The accidental check from behind left [Benilde-St. Margaret's sophomore Jack] Jablonski motionless on the ice at the St. Louis Park Rec Center. Doctors initially thought he suffered a bruised spinal cord and two broken vertebrae, but Monday they said his spinal cord is actually severed. They don't...
Some Cross-Dressing Banjo Players Got Into A Brawl In Philadelphia On Sunday
On New Year's Day in Philly, we have something called the Mummer's Parade. Stripped down to its basics, it's an event in which men dress in feathers, a wide array of costumes or as women and prance down Broad Street. Some people think it's a grand time. They're entitled to that opinion, I guess....
Deadspin Up All Night: Take It Sleazy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's here tonight. Give him a few minutes to get settled in....
Some High School Football All-Stars Pout When They're Assigned Jersey Numbers They Don't Want
The U.S. Army All-American Bowl is Saturday, and the surfeit of hype has produced a surfeit of bitchy entitlement on the part of some of those players who've been invited to participate. There are only so many jersey numbers to go around, you see, and that's creating a bit of a problem:...
If The Canadiens' Interim Head Coach Doesn't Learn French, He'll Probably Be Fired
Montreal Canadiens' interim head coach Randy Cunneyworth doesn't speak any French. This is apparently such a problem among fans that the team's GM had to address the issue with the sort of groveling, mealy-mouthed statement you give when your coach blows a .48 on his Breathalyzer....
Prince Fielder Could Be A Washington National This Season, And Other News Around The Hot Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...
HOLY SHIT JEFF GARCIA IS THE TEXANS' THIRD-STRING QB
We saw Jake Delhomme stumble through three quarters of Titans-Texans on Sunday after TJ Yates' injury, and we got to wondering who the Texans' third quarterback was. (You'll recall that Matts Schaub and Leinart are both out for the season.) We figured it was a reliable old guy, like Brian Griese, or...
Some Guy Got A Giant Tattoo Of Stevie Johnson's Head On His Arm
Johnson, the Bills wide receiver who was benched over the weekend, did this not so long ago. He still wound up with 1007 yards on the year. And now he tweeted a photo of the dude's tattoo. Everything about this is so dispiriting I don't know whom I should call classless. [@StevieJohnson13, via Sport...
Steelers Safety Ryan Clark Won't Play In Denver On Sunday Because It Might Kill Him
Ryan Clark, Pittsburgh's veteran starting safety without all the long hair, has the sickle-cell trait. It's a condition that impacts his blood when he exerts himself in the high altitude. Clark lost 30 pounds and nearly died when the Steelers played at Denver in 2007, after which doctors had to rem...
At The Winter Classic, A New Year Belongs To Gary Bettman
PHILADELPHIA—These are supposed to be the treasured memories of the NHL's Winter Classic: Star-crossed Brayden Schenn's first career goal. Mike Rupp's mocking Jagr salute after his first score. Henrik Lundqvist stoning a penalty shot for the game. But they're transient memories, already fading....
For Some Reason, The Chargers Did Not Fire Norv Turner And A.J. Smith
You probably have a friend who doesn't follow football that closely and thinks the Chargers are really great. He likes that they have Antonio Gates, who is a killer in fantasy, and Vincent Jackson. He thinks Philip Rivers deserves to be mentioned with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning as the best quarter...
![Mavericks Play-By-Play Voice Mark Followill Will Not Tolerate Your Online Criticism [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4opz3qbkx6jpg.jpg)
Mavericks Play-By-Play Voice Mark Followill Will Not Tolerate Your Online Criticism [UPDATE]
NBA X's & O's maven Sebastian Pruiti (formerly of NBA Playbook, now at Grantland) watches a lot of basketball on television—as much, I'd wager, as anyone in the country. An experienced observer of local NBA broadcasts, then, he's within his rights to offer the tame criticism of the Mavericks broadc...
Michele Bachmann Is Just Like Tim Tebow, Says Most Inevitable Campaign Ad Ever
One won the Iowa straw poll five months ago and is now trending in single digits on the day of that state's caucus vote. The other made the playoffs despite a three-game losing streak to end the regular season with a .500 record. See? They're exactly the same! [The Hill]...
What It Sounds Like To Sit Next To The World's Most Annoying Miami Heat Fan
It was Dec. 27, and Jason Feifer was pumped for the Miami Heat home season opener. Feifer and his dad had scored tickets to see the Heat take on the Boston Celtics. As the Feifers settled into their seats, they paid little attention to the petite woman next to them. The woman was by herself, wearing...
Kris Humphries: Douchebag Homophobe
Kris Humphries is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury while the Nets continue to slide, losing their fifth straight last night to the Pacers....
Mike Milbury Referred To The New York Rangers As "The Blue Shits" Yesterday
It wasn't deliberate, and he quickly corrected himself, but we can all still have a laugh at it. [NBC; h/t to Roe H.]...
If You Wanted To See Journeyman Infielder Jack Wilson Kick A Football Into A Moving Jet-Ski, Here You Go
Bucs Dugout reports, "Jack Wilson on vacation. His dad sent me this." Wilson, who was an all-star for the Pirates in 2004, hit .243/.274/.285 over 79 games with the Mariners and Braves last year. Shockingly, he is still a free agent....
Some Dude Got Arrested For Breaking Into Wrigley Field And Ripping Ivy Off The Walls
Michael Vite, 24, allegedly entered the ballpark through a construction area around 7:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. Police say he "ran onto the field and pulled some ivy off the outfield wall." Which is pretty lame compared to this. [CBS Chicago; h/t to Disco Choo]...
ESPN Thinks Helmet-To-Helmet Hits Are Pretty Great
The Worldwide Leader did away with its "Jacked Up!" segment some time ago, but it's still not above marveling at and even promoting footage of a good old-fashioned helmet-to-helmet blast, as this tweet to its 2.4 million followers clearly indicates....