a Page 7170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony La Russa Lives On, In Baby Horse Form
Fear not, denizens of Redbird Nation. Your pilot may have hung up the satin jacket for the greener pastures of the TV studio, but there will forever be a La Russa roaming the fields of St. Louis, pooping in the grass....

Amar'e Stoudemire Is: King Solomon
Not pictured: 700 wives and 300 concubines. [Twitter]...

The Sad Saga Of A College Football Player Who Didn't Understand How Twitter Works
Elon senior RB Jamal Shuman is frustrated. The Phoenix lost 48-28 Saturday to Wofford, and Shuman only factored in one play—a five-yard pass reception. So he did what anyone would do in that situation, and vented on Twitter....

Will Anyone Ever Beat The Steelers Or Patriots?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

SprtsCntr: The Losers All Talk The Same
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Wally Szczerbiak Is: Superman
Wally Szczerbiak is gainfully employed, unlike everyone else in the top 10 of his draft class. That temporary triumph doesn't make a Superman costume anything but a bit of a reach for the Szczerb: maybe someone like Aquaman or Jubilee would be more appropriate. [Twitter]...

Donovan McNabb Is Lost And Angry At The World
Two years ago, Donovan McNabb fell off a Chuck Jones-sized cliff. A disastrous, abbreviated season in Washington followed by a more disastrous, more abbreviated season in Minnesota, and he's probably done, right? Gotta figure a guy who's been around this long has lost his mojo, is washed up, is just...

Evgeni Malkin And Sidney Crosby Are: Hairy Guy And Gladiator
Not sure if that's "pimp", or the more general "hirsute man from the 70s." But to echo the comments every Penguins fan, Geno probably should have gone as the Invisible Man: he already has the costume. Meanwhile, someone ask Crosby if he likes gladiator movies. [Twitter]...

Bryce Harper Tebowing Feels Like The End Of Something
We declared Tebowing over on Friday, but it is somehow still limping along, enjoying the final tour before total meme death. Tebow himself got Tebowed over the weekend, and yesterday, The Chosen One gave it a turn....

Paul Bissonnette Is: Hacksaw Jim Duggan
That's a brave, brave costume for the Coyotes tough guy, from the same team Halloween party that brought us the latest blackface costume debate. More importantly, how did the real, out-of-shape Jim Duggan walk around in briefs for a decade and none of us thought twice about it? [Twitter]...

Ro-Mo Sucks. Ro-Mo Sucks. Ro-Mo Sucks.
Your morning roundup for Oct. 31, the day we learned that some kids in England throw flour and eggs on elderly people during this time of the year. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

All He Wanted Was To Almost Go The Distance: Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
Finally, a decent prime time game. Enjoy the fun with everyone down in the comments....

Tim Tebow Gets Tebown'd, Blaine Gabbert Has A Filthy Mouth and More: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
Well, the early slate of games wound up providing a lot more drama than we all anticipated, didn't it? Plus, there were also games on after that! We've got your recap of everything. Let's get to it....

What Counts In Soccer As A Fight Broke Out After The Red Bulls-Galaxy Match
The MLS playoffs are underway—you knew that, right?—and after the L.A. Galaxy's 1-0 victory over New York Red Bulls things got a bit testy. It wasn't brouhaha levels, mostly because the guy who appeared suffer the most pain (Red Bulls defender Rafael Márquez) wasn't actually touched, as far as any...

Original Baltimore Colts Charter Found In Garbage, Refurbished
What purports to be the original charter provided by the NFL to the Baltimore Colts in 1953 is now up for auction. The document was apparently thrown out (Robert Irsay?) and later recovered and "restored."...

Rob Gronkowski's Brother Goes As Rob Gronkowski For Halloween
Earlier today, Rob Gronkowski's younger brother, Glenn, tweeted a picture of his Halloween costume. Oh, those crazy younger brothers. He's a college student, at Kansas State, so this costume actually fits his budget perfectly. No Shirt, and a jersey from his brother. The whole thing is priceless. W...

Watch Tim Tebow Get Tebowed By The Man Who Sacked Him
Here's Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch taking Tebowing meta, striking the pose over Tim Tebow's prone body after sacking the Broncos quarterback in the first quarter of their matchup in Denver. It's like he raised an already-tired meme from the dead....

Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin': Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
There is no such thing as illegal touching when you're the Steelers' all-time receiving leader. Here's your spot to chat about the late games this week. Join us below....

Tim Tebow's Next Miracle? Giving Matthew Stafford A Neck
From tipsters Gordon and Katrina, comes this snapshot of the Lions quarterback sans a few vertebrae. Stafford is gearing up for his showdown with the Broncos, but he may want to consider making a pre-game visit to the Chosen One. I'm pretty sure he knows a guy who's got a few spare parts he could us...

Let's All Enjoy The Poetry In Motion That Is Several Fat Men Lateraling A Sack-Fumble Recovery
The Jacksonville Jaguars, whose only real highlight play this season came in a torrential downpour, executed a lovely double-lateral after a Clint Session sack of Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the second quarter of their matchup at Reliant Stadium....