a Page 7199 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We're Getting Closer To An Actually Useful Goalie Statistic
You weren't chased away by a post dealing with hockey and Sabermetrics? Good for you! Then you've probably watched enough icepuck to realize that save percentage is a pretty weak measure of a goalie's ability. All shots are not created equal—a slapper from between the circles is going to be harder t...

The Godawfulest Team In Football Has Acquired Itself A Shiny New Receiver
Lloyd has one season—last year—where he had 1,448 receiving yards. Pretty impressive. His prior four seasons combined? 860 yards! Sounds like you've finally got yourself a winner, 0-5 Rams! [Chris Mortensen]...

Jon Lester Says They Probably Only "Ordered Chicken From Popeyes Like Once A Month"
Lester tells the Boston Globe (though not Bob Hohler, who wrote this) that starting pitchers on their off-days were the only ones drinking during Red Sox games. "There's a perception out there that we were up there getting hammered and that wasn't the case... Most of the times it was one beer, a bee...

Here's To Running Backs Who Don't Run
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Someone's Selling A John Lackey Signed Ball Stained With Chicken Grease
EBay, of course:...

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On <em>Baseball Tonight</em> Throughout The World Series
It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen...

THIS GUY Will Be Calling <em>MNF</em> For Another Five Years
ESPN hailed Gruden's contract extension as an "exclusive" one that will keep him in the booth and out of coaching through 2016. Which means we can all look forward to a lot more of this. [Awful Announcing]...

No, Marco Fabian, Celebrating A Goal By Mock-Executing A Teammate Will Not Go Over Well In Mexico
Marco Fabian, a midfielder for Mexican Premiera powerhouse Chivas de Guadalajara, scores a lot of goals. Accordingly, Marco Fabian needs to celebrate a lot of goals. On Saturday, for example, he scored a hat trick in Chivas's 5-2 win against Tecos, and had to celebrate three different goals. This,...

Strip-Search Demanded At World Scrabble Championship To Find Letter "G"
It may come as news to most of the universe that the World Scrabble Championships took place last week, and ended yesterday when Nigel Richards of New Zealand defeated Aussie Andrew Fisher, 3-2. Richards ended the five-day tournament with 95 points on the word "omnified"—which, as proof that humans ...

A 100-Year-Old Man Has Finished Running A Marathon, Too
First, there was the woman in Chicago who was more than nine months pregnant and who gave birth soon after crossing the finish line. Now, there's Fauja Singh, born in April 1911 and nicknamed the "Turbaned Tornado," who yesterday in Toronto became the first centenarian to complete a race of that di...

LeSean McCoy Punching Andy Reid In The Gut In Slow-Motion Is The NFL Highlight Of The Weekend, If Not The Season
No elaboration is necessary, either. [The 700 Level]...

Christian Ponder Came Out To Play Last Night, And So Did The "Ponder" Puns
Throughout the first three quarters of the Bears-Vikings game last night, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth mentioned Christian Ponder, as well as "ponder" puns, as many times as they possibly could....

The Stats May Or May Not Show That Dez Bryant Played His Ass Off, But This Photo Does
Your morning roundup for Oct. 17, the day the headline "Used Condom-Collecting Women Charged In Alleged Sex Attack Spree" caught our attention. H/T to Adam for the Dez Bryant photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

NBC To Fans: We Aren't Psychics: Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
Last and most certainly least, it's Sunday Night Football. At least there's Faith Hill?...

Juggling Eagles, Fighting Coaches And A Fake Field Goal: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
What a strange day of games. It was a pretty solid collection of the weird, the wild and the inexplicable you can only find in the NFL. Let's discuss....

Your Brewers-Cardinals NLCS Game Six Open Thread
Edwin Jackson et al for St. Louis. Shaun Marcum for Milwaukee. They met in Game Two. St. Louis won 12-3. Cardinals win this time, and they're World Series bound. Cardinals lose, and they're bound for a Carpenter vs. Gallardo deciding seventh game....

Kimbo Slice Is Back, Baby!
Say what you will about the gimmickry that was Kimbo Slice's foray into MMA and boxing, but I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for the pornographer/backyard brawler, and let me tell you why....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Kicking off this week's batch of dongmania is J.W from Staten Island who "took my family pumpkin picking this past Monday and we also picked some random gourds up. The picture of the attached gourd has a fine shape and texture. My wife and I named it 'The Harvest Dong.'"...

IndyCar Officials Announce Driver Dan Wheldon Died In Today's Fiery Crash
AP, via SI.com, reports "Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon died Sunday in a fiery 15-car wreck at Las Vegas Motor Speedway when his car flew over another on Lap 13 and smashed into the wall just outside turn 2. Wheldon was 33. Drivers were told of Wheldon's death in a meeting about two hours afte...

So, Yeah, The Big Lions Fan Put A Gun To His Head After Today's Loss
"Grab a gun. C'mon, let's get this over with," said that weird Big Lions Fan who had the whole Creedence thing going on during his post-game wrapup. He was kidding, and urged fellow Lions fans not to jump, while still brandishing his piece. Which was very nice of him....