a Page 7238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...

This Is Why You Should Never Listen To Anything Manny Ramirez Says
Monday: "I know I'm not going to be here next year." Tuesday: "I'll play three more for this team and two more in Japan." Gee, who could have seen that coming from Manny "Crazy Train" Ramirez? [Ledger/LA Daily News]...

Last Night's Winner: Crybabies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who watch the Olympics not for the speed and grace of finely-tuned athletes, but because they enjoy blubbering like little girls over figure skating....

Lionel Hollins Would Like To Give A Hand. A Terrifying, Terrifying Hand.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Randy Hustle, Giving It His All
Randy Moss, already vaguely unhappy in New England, took part in an NFL charity softball game. He hit what looked like an easy infield fly...want to guess whether he ran it out or not?...

Silver Medal Winners Just Miserable Bastards, Report Bored Scientists
I guess there's some truth to the phrase "second place is the first loser." Olympians have been shown to be much more satisfied with a bronze than a silver, even though it's clearly the Jan Brady of medals....

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

Time For A Little Perspective On Mascot's Weiner Maiming
We've been waiting all day for Posnanski to weigh in on Sluggerrr's hot dog mishap. Finally, he puts it in context. (Spoiler alert: it's certainly not out of character for the Royals.) [Posnanski]...

Tiger Woods Apologizes To A Bunch Of Toddlers
No, that headline doesn't refer to the wire services so loathed by Craggs. The Woods family wrote a note of apology to their daughter's daycare classmates....

Facial Hair Most Pressing Issue In NL Champs Camp
Jayson Werth's beard has been the talk of Phillies spring training. Because this is clearly more important than a lack of a bullpen, there's already an official site for photoshops. [Jayson Werth Beards]...

Blame Canada, Says Canada
Somebody's got to be the scapegoat for the host nation's disappointing medal count. The athletes, for not living up to expectations? The COC for setting unrealistic expectations? The fans for being too passionate? Bingo....

With One Raised Digit, Tom Brokaw Inadvertently Expresses NBC's Contempt For You: Open Thread
Here's Brokaw — NBC mascot, author of The Bestest Generation Ever, bewildered old man who occasionally wanders onto the Olympics set — gesturing during a fireside après-ski. Perfect. The network is basically an old guy giving you the finger, anyway....

Kornheiser Gets Two-Week Suspension For On-Air Comments, And Other Things Of Note
ESPN's John Skipper responded to the suspension of Tony Kornheiser, but there's more to the story than the press release shipped out of Bristol. Observe....

NBC To West Coast Hockey Fans: "Kiss Our Moose!"
Ready for some fresh NBC outrage? Just wait until tomorrow, when Oregon discovers that the broadcast for USA Hockey's quarterfinal doesn't start until three hours after the actual game does. I understand hockey really comes to life on the radio....

Birth, Peanut Butter, And Assorted Condiments
My kid has become obsessed with flashlights, which makes sense because I've NEVER stopped enjoying playing with flashlights. Seriously, flashlights are awesome. You can shine them directly in people's eyes. You can point them at the wall and shake them to make cool patterns. LOOK! A CIRCLE OF LIGHT!...

Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...

Nightmares Never Sleep
The chilling new Air Jordan 2010 commercial shows what it's like to guard Dwyane Wade – a nightmare. But it doesn't stop there. An online Nightmare experience challenges you to master the skills that allow D-Wade to strike fear in opponents on courts everywhere. ...

ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspension — More About Chris Berman?
As The Big Lead reported, Tony Kornheiser received a short suspension for his comments made last week about Hannah Storm's wardrobe. But there were other remarks made that day that really irked his royal Norbyness....

Basketball Players Should Touch Each Other More Often, Science Urges
Scientists, those smart people who split the atom and cured polio, have charted hugs and high fives for every NBA team and concluded that, as The New York Times puts it, "good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."...

Royals Mascot Accused Of Assault With A Deadly Frankfurter
Perhaps we know why the Royals need a new Sluggerrr. The last one nearly blinded a guy with a hot dog and got the team sued. He'd get more damages if he'd actually seen the Royals play. [TMZ; photo via]...