a Page 7241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...

Siblings Get Romantic In Vancouver
All of the ice dancing pairs must perform a romantic tango routine. Four of the ice dancing pairs are brother and sister. Like, for example, those in the photo. Ick....

Douchial Profiling: Cowboys Fan Searched At Philly Airport
It takes a certain kind of person to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs. A terroristic kind of person? Without knowing all the facts, we say: probably....

But From Whom Would A German Learn About Gelt?
Luger David Möller broke a tooth biting down on his silver medal. I can only imagine he was having a Homer Simpsonesque "Land of Chocolate" hallucination. [The Local]...

Lindsey Vonn Crashes, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
Cheese-legged Lindsey Vonn lost her right ski and crashed in the slalom portion of the super-combined. Germany's Maria Riesch took gold, and Julia Mancuso won silver. (But shhhh, don't tell anyone.)...

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: The Euphemizing Goes Global
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

NBC Outrage Update: Dick Ebersol Agrees With You! (Eight Years Ago)
New York Times readers are begging the New York Times to stop posting Olympics results on their front page, because they just want to get news about Pakistan without having their TV evening ruined by sports spoilers. Too bad!...

Prodigiously Endowed Pirate Pitcher Jim Bibby Is Now Dead (Update)
From an emailer: "I was disappointed to find that you made no mention of the passing of Jim Bibby on today's page......

Lindsey Vonn's Brother Shows Support With Idiotic Haircut
America's downhill darling has a brother, who has some clippers, so he did this to head. Louis Vuitton must be so pleased....

The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences
No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre....

Subway Fantasies, Fire, Sex Dolls, And Ingrown Hairs
I was watching "Archer" the other night and they had Archer's mom stranded on a shitty fishing boat that was named CHUM GUZZLER. That's a fucking win. Onto the letters....

Tony Kornheiser Thinks Hannah Storm Should Dress More Appropriately
"Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now." You bastard. [TheBigLead]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Dino Bravo
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Dino Bravo, who was shot to death on March 11, 1993, in his Laval, Quebec, home....

Tiger's "Selfish" Apology Already Off To A Bad Start
Tiger Woods hasn't even shown up for his earth-shattering non-press conference, but he's already annoying everyone with his attention-hogging, me-first attitude....

Duke Lacrosse Accuser Arrested For Assault
The woman who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 was arrested by Durham police after a domestic dispute. Charges include arson, assault and battery, identity theft, resisting an officer, child endangerment and attempted murder. So....yeah. [WRAL]...

Last Night's Winner: U! S! A! U! S! A!
In sports, everyone in a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Americans who, let's face it, are the awesomest winners who ever won a victory. Now it feels like a real Olympics!...

Comcast Goes From Inane To Inaccurate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....

A Horse Is A Horse, Off Course, Off Course
Five horses (well, their jockeys, I suppose) made a wrong turn in a recent race at Newcastle, and were disqualified. Turns out, it was a shortcut to the glue factory. [BBC]...

Mike Milbury's Anti-Ovechkin Crusade Goes International
The NBC analyst has long been known as the only non-Yinzer in the Crosby-over-Ovechkin camp. Now, he's moved his pulpit to Vancouver. Thank goodness Jeremy Roenick was there to call him out....