a Page 7271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

Scottie Pippen Would <u>Not</u> Like To Thank All The Little People
Pippen was attacked by little people. Pippen sent one of the little people to the hospital. This is a thing that happened....

Rick Reilly®, Glimpsed In The Wild
Mildly terrifying Deadspin I-Team operative Alex captured the ESPN LOLumnist as he foraged in the lower bowl of Denver's Pepsi Center. Note the distinctive outerwear. "Would have been better if it was a vindaloo and a southern cross," Alex writes....

Pats Owner Just Wants To Watch The World Burn
Tough week for Robert Kraft. First his truckload of illegal immigrants gets pulled over on its way to shovel the stadium. Now his driver gets ticketed for refusing to move Kraft's ride when a fire truck needed to get through....

Sixers Have Something For Everyone, Except Basketball Fans
Philly hired a VH1 reality show host to give lonely fans dating advice, and next week sees a postgame concert from noted NBA player favorite Matisyahu. The Iverson sideshow's not moving as many tickets as hoped, methinks. [NBA/NBA]...

Seahawks About To Land Pete Carroll?
"Pete Carroll is the guy Seahawks are targeting. It is expected to happen," according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [@mortreport, LAT]...

The One Where The LA Angels Catcher's Mom Accidentally Shows Her Nipple On New Year's Eve
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

They're Just Mining Your Childhood For Ideas Now
LeBron and Dwight Howard have teamed up to film an update of the landmark McDonald's HORSE commercial. Spoiler: the game ends when Howard is unable to hit a free throw five times in a row....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 2: Lurch Dunks On Our Heads
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 11-3. Tournament prospects: Goodish....

Introducing Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
I once had a friend named Mark (not his real name) who was trying to have sex with a girl while he was blind drunk. He did not end up succeeding. Here is the short story of why....

BREAKING: Jim Mora Fired
Jay Glazer just tweeted the news a couple minutes ago. And Glazer is blissfully never wrong. I've always thought Jim Mora 2 looks like an Eskimo. That's probably a wrong assumption....

Chin Blossoms: Buffalonians Begin The Cowher Chase In Earnest
Raiders, Bengals and Bears fans have all purchased billboards calling for their teams to clean house in the front office. But those are angry, angry cities. The salt-of-the-earth folk in Upstate New York prefer more constructive advice on their roadsides....

Your State Of The Buzzsaw Address
For the second consecutive year, I'm heading to the Pink Taco in Glendale for playoff game hosted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. I'm not sure enough people appreciate how strange that is....

The NBA Tackles The Real Problem
The Nets take the lead in what could be a league-wide crackdown on gambling on team flights. Remember kids, guns don't kill people; Boo-Ray kills people. [NYT]...

Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....

Childress’ Son Arrested for DUI
No Minnesota Vikings season is ever complete with a good DUI arrest. And a week before the team is hosts their divisional round playoff game, Chilly's son went and pulled a Tommy Kramer:...

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....

Let's Cleanse The Palate With Some Real Football - Or At Least Kickers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Presenting The Absolute Worst Hall Of Fame Voter (Update)
In all the foofaraw over the HOF elections, one voter stands above the rest in terms of sheer ineptitude and self-promotion. Let's ridicule them! But first, the runners up:...