a Page 7271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute
This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here....
Was Steve Jobs A Glory Hog?
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick reminder that I will be at New York Comic Con on Friday morning, hosting the "Zombies, Fallen Angels, and Other Paranormals" panel in Room 1A23 at the Javits Center. What's that? You were going to go to the Final Fantasy XIII-2 panel? What are you, some kind of f...
Hank Williams Jr. Gets Much-Needed Public Support From Kid Rock
Detroit native Kid Rock celebrated in the Lions' locker room after their 24-13 win on Monday Night Football last night. "I'm Detroit 'til I die," he told gathering reporters....
ESPN Is Now Trotting Out Anyone It Can To Tell You It Had Nothing To Do With Boning The Big East
The folks in Bristol are getting a little defensive over those rather inconvenient comments made by Boston College AD Gene DeFilippo, who said ESPN had influenced the ACC's decision to expand by swiping Pitt and Syracuse from the Big East. An unnamed spokesman for the Worldwide Leader has already i...
Good Luck Charm? Cardinals Play-By-Play Broadcaster Might Have Wet Himself During His DWI Arrest
Two Sundays ago, Fox Sports Midwest's Dan McLaughlin was arrested for driving drunk after he crashed into a stop sign in Chesterfield, a suburb of St. Louis. He was suspended from work, even though FSM doesn't carry postseason games so his year was effectively over. That mugshot, on the left, is the...
Let The NBA Lockout Last Forever; Drew Gooden's Got Chicken Wings To Sell
The Bucks' Drew Gooden is opening four new Wingstop restaurants in the Orlando area. "I did lot of research on different franchises," he says, before admitting he really wanted to own a Five Guys Burgers but there were none available. Wings are good too. [Orlando Business Journal]...
South Africa To Miss Out On Africa Cup Of Nations After Deliberately Playing To Boring 0-0 Draw
The South African national soccer team intentionally played to a 0-0 draw against Sierra Leone this past Saturday, and then danced across the field in celebration of having qualified for the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations. The problem: Bafana Bafana, as the team is known, had not qualified for the 2012 ...
Dear NFL Coaches: If You're On The 37-Yard Line, Go For It
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
SprtsCntr: Winning Over Hearts, Minds, And Hannah Storm's Fist
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Tim Tebow Gives Us Our First Total QBR Kerfuffle
I've been pleasantly surprised with my lack of exposure to Total Quarterback Rating, ESPN's proprietary formula for measuring QB that's supposed to be more accurate, or at least more complete, than passer rating. After the preseason blitz, I absolutely expected it to be shoved down my throat. But it...
Great Seats, Better Mullet
Your morning roundup for Oct. 11, the day we discovered protest-themed condoms. H/T to KingCuyahoga and Cory. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Watch Nelson Cruz Hit A Grand Slam To Win Game 2 Of The ALCS
Cruz sent it flying over the left field wall with the bases loaded in the 11th to give the Rangers a 2-0 series lead over the Tigers. Cruz had previously tied the game with a homer in the 7th....
Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....
Your Cardinals-Brewers NLCS Game Two Open Thread
At least baseball had a rainout excuse when it came to the unfortunate-for-ratings start time of this afternoon's Tigers-Rangers affair. It has nowhere to hide when it comes to tonight's next installment of the NLCS, which will attempt to compete directly for eyeballs with Monday Night Football—and...
Texas A&M Doesn't Know What Feces Look Like
What's worse than vandalizing a rival school's team buses, flinging shit all over? Saying your rivals did just that, when the truth is much more prosaic and less poopy....
This Evening: Jim Leyland Did Not Have A Hard-On, But...
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 10, the day we got bored and chopped at a few trees because it sure beats drinkin'. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
If You Ever Get Chased By A Wild Turkey, Run (And Also Keep The Camera Rolling Like This Brave Lady)
Duffy Kelly, a producer for News10 in Sacramento, ventured out into the suburban wild recently to see if—as a few of her neighbors had claimed—her local wild-ish turkeys attack. She didn't realize that she was walking straight into a horror film (one in which the villain is a mostly harmless game ...
Kenyon Martin Would Like All Of His Haters To "Catch Full Blown AIDS And Die!"
A veteran of 11 NBA seasons, Kenyon Martin has no doubt encountered a hater or two in his travels throughout the league. One might thus assume he's conditioned himself to keep whatever negativity that gets hurled his way from truly bothering him. But one would be wrong....
Mike Shanahan Once Ordered Elvis Grbac To Drill Al Davis In The Head With A Pass
Al Davis had plenty of respect within the NFL power structure, as we learned this weekend. Those of us who knew him only as a craggy-faced Jamarcus-loving iconoclast now know of him as something better than that, a powerfully transformative figure. But he still had enemies. Among them: onetime Raide...
Hank Williams Jr. Has Recorded A Rollicking Obama/<i>Fox & Friends</i>/ESPN Diss Track Called "Keep The Change" (Updated)
You know what's inherently lame? Country music battle songs. In aggressive country music battles, the only gauge for how "bad" someone is is how angrily they can say "America" or "U.S.A." while still maintaining a legitimate twang. Nevertheless, disgraced "Are You Ready For Some Football?" singer ...