a Page 7372 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Losingest Losers: A Pirates Fan Looks At 17
Dom Cosentino is a lifelong Pirates fan (yes, they still exist). To commemorate the 17th consecutive losing season of the franchise, he’s provided this essay on what it’s like to be under .500 all those years....

The Feudin' Mayfields Are Headed To Court
Jeremy Mayfield has filed a wrongful-death suit against his stepmother in the death of his father from a gunshot wound. The suit calls Lisa Mayfield a "slayer of her spouse," which really sounds like a Skynyrd song. [ESPN]...

Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....

Michael Wilbon's Untapped Thoughts Are Now Worldwide
Watch as anti-blogivist Michael Wilbon tackles high-minded issues on his new WaPo page (not a blog!). In addition to opining on sports and social issues, he also slips on a cyber velvet robe anddishes dating advice as well. [TheBigLead]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This final 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Speaking Of Awesome And Excessive Baseball Celebrations
Tiger's closer Fernando Rodney has been suspended 3 games for endangering a crowd with this mighty heave after closing a tight game in Tampa last week. Rodney claims the toss, which scattered a group of reporters, was not malicious. [MLB.com]...

Wait ... Is That Boxer Drinking His Own Urine?
Yep. He sure is. That's Juan Manuel Marquez, who apparently ends his workouts by pissing into a cup and the chug-a-lugging the whole thing. I think HBO may be taking this "24/7" thing too far....

Baseball Pretends To Be Appalled By Prince Fielder's Home Run Celebration
Prince Fielder and his Brewers teammates, who celebrated Sunday's walk-off victory over the Giants with a little Jerome Robbins number, now stand accused of excessive immodesty by the Holy Church of Baseball People Who Need To Lighten The Hell Up....

Why Your Team Sucks: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Terrelle Pryor May Not Be The Best Spokesman For Michael Vick
So some stuff happened this weekend, huh? We might have missed some of it. Like that thing Terrelle Pryor said about murderers? What was that all about?...

Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...

Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....

Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...

Why Your Team Sucks: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Roger Clemens Suit Against Brian McNamee Dismissed
A Texas judge dismissed Clemens' defamation lawsuit against his former trainer Brian McNamee, but McNamee's defamation suit against Clemens will continue in New York. Does anyone even remember what these two lovebirds are fighting about? [Daily News]...

Naughty Word Appears On Sports Broadcast, And A Snickering Nation Presses Pause
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....

There is No Difference Between a Lacrosse Brawl and a Regular Brawl
The video below is from Game 1 of the Mann Cup, Canada's national lacrosse championship. The New Westminster Salmonbellies beat the Brampton Excelsiors 12-9, but the real story was the sh*tshow that erupted during the second period. Observe:...

Final Update: Red Rover, Red Rover, Hugh Johnson Is Over
For today at least. And somehow we made it through with only 70% of you realizing I know nothing about college football. Your final HJP of the day is below....