a Page 7377 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Obligatory EA Opening Night Round-Up
So! College football is back, and if the opening game is any indication, it's going to be a boring, sloppy season. But the real intrigue was on the sidelines....
Crystal Taylor: Not Pregnant!
Dirk Nowitzki's ex-fiancée isn't carrying a little Dirkchen, a pregnancy test proved. (Not to mention months in prison with nothing to show for it.) Clearly, while Dirk tried to drain one from outside, there was goaltending on the play. [ESPN.com]...
Awful Team Photos — The Definitive Collection
Fact: football teams discover neither style nor shame until they hit the pros. To illustrate this, we've put together a gallery of your old favorites, plus some new entries. We'll be adding to this periodically as you keep sending them....
So What Do We Do About Erin Andrews?
College football returns to us (and ESPN) tonight and that means America's Sideline Princess is back on the job. But can we talk about her without talking about that thing that we're not supposed to be talking about?...
Michael Vick Can Play In Week 3
Roger Goodell says Vick is working on "recognizing" his "life management skills" so he only has to sit out two games this year. And no more hard lemonade! [NFL.com]...
<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...
The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....
QB Proves You Don’t Have To Be Literate To Make The 49ers
Nate Davis may not be able to deconstruct the early work of Tolstoy, but no matter: he's excellent at throwing footballs-at least good enough to make the 49ers over Damon Huard....
Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...
Balls, Balls, Balls!
Want to watch grown men inflate and then inhabit a giant aqua ball? We'll answer for you: Yes....
USC Song Girls Do That Thing They Do That Makes People Happy
The lively boys at TrojanWire have cobbled together a tribute video to the world's most famous white-sweatered show ponies — with musical accompaniment by the Pixies — to celebrate the advent of Trojan season. [TrojanWire]...
Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....
Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business
Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "Fading Echoes"
Put on your long-reading glasses.Today's selection is "Fading Echoes" an amazing true story about football and suburban America and sadness and life written by my fellow La Salle University alum, Mike Sielski. Buy it here. Talk to him below....
Wes Helms Gets Off When You Fight
On Wednesday, a shouting match between Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla seemed to foretell the 2009 collapse of the Florida Marlins. The clubhouse was imploding along with the team's slim wild card hopes—just as Wes Helms had planned...
Why Your Team Sucks: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Jeff Jagodzinski Has Not Had A Good Year
Tampa Bay has not even seen their new offense in real-time competition yet, but they have apparently seen enough to know that it stinks. They fired coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski today, just one week before Opening Day....
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
Aaron Boone Plays Baseball, Heart Doesn't Explode
The guy had open heart surgery in March, but was in the lineup for the Astros yesterday. Oh-for-3, but he did make a nifty play in the field. And his aorta is still intact, so that's a plus. [MLB.com]...
The 2009 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
This week’s Deadcast guest is Spencer Hall, chairman of the fully armed and operational Every Day Should Be Saturday. (Listen here, iTunes here.) This week’s mission? WE BE HATIN’....