a Page 7397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Someone Forgot To Tell This Owner His Soccer Team Was Up For Sale On eBay
When the owner of an English soccer team wanted to sell the franchise, he turned to a US firm to set up the deal. When that firm wanted to locate a buyer, they turned to...eBay? *recordscratch.wav*...
Golf Course Hunting Gives New Meaning To Notching A Birdie
A golf course in northern Indiana has a geese problem. Specifically, there's too many of them, honking and crapping everywhere. The city council's solution? Golfers with guns....
World War III Will Be Fought With Dishes And Swishes
President Obama showed the Chinese Vice Premier proper jump shot form, and also quoted Yao Ming. I suppose reducing a nation of one billion to a stereotype isn't so offensive if that stereotype is "they all love basketball." [CBS News]...
PapiGate, Straight From The Hub's Mouth
In the wake of today's David Ortiz revelations, Deadspin takes an schadenfreudian informative look at the reaction from the comment boards of Boston's newspapers. Let's witness the five stages of grief in one afternoon, plus plenty of trolling....
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...
How Matthew Stafford Is Spending His Summer Vacation
Clearly, these photos were taken far from Detroit. If you have any more information — where Stafford is, or why he's not surrounded by the Detroit Lions — let us know. That's all for now. Petchesky Fantastico is here tonight....
Muscly Nuisance Has Some Thoughts About Latest Steroid Revelations
"What I speak out of my mouth is the truth," says Jose Canseco, sounding very much like a man carrying two stone tablets down Mount Sinai. "It burns like fire. Just remember, I have never lied about this subject."...
David Ortiz Has Your Comment Right Here
Down by two, bottom of the seventh ... three-run home run by Big Papi. Now what were you saying about 2003? [Video via NESN/MLB Network]...
Starred Commenter Theater: The Watermelonheads
Fans, wearing watermelons on their heads, watch the Rays-Blue Jays game in Toronto on Saturday. [Canadian Press/Associated Press via WSJ]...
Stephen A. Smith: Pundit Voice Of Moderation?
So Stephen A. Smith has reinvented himself as a malapropping political bloviator on MSNBC. This is truly an amazing fact of American cultural life, and I'm not sure it's sunk in yet....
Congress Ends Racism 90 Years Too Late
Both the House and Senate have passed a resolution pardoning former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson for doin' it with white chicks. In a related story, Jack Johnson is still dead. [ESPN]...
Hawaii Coach Apologizes For Accusing Notre Dame Of Gayness During Dance Routine
Before last year's Hawaii Bowl, Notre Dame and Hawaii met for a pre-game banquet in which the Rainbows-turned-Warriors did the ha'a and the Fighting Irish performed a cheer, which Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin tastefully deemed "a little faggot dance."...
Bill Simmons Is Still Coming To Terms With The Manny/Papi Steroid Revelations
"Of all the days for me to fly cross-country... I nominate this as my all-time worst finding news out on a blackberry moment." [SportsFellaTweets]...
Arturo Gatti's Death Ruled A Suicide By Purse Strap
A court ordered that his wife be released immediately. She had been accused of strangling her drunk husband with a purse strap while he slept, but apparently the subsequent investigation "excludes the possibility of murder." A totally understandable mix-up. [AP]...
Clinton Portis Was Just Experimenting With His Hair Color, Not Dudes, Thank You
The intrepid Dan Steinberg is once again wandering around Redskins training camp and in his quest for gold, he struck oil instead by tapping the fertile mind of Clinton Portis about that Sisquo hairstyle he sported earlier this offseason....
Vikings Retirement That Somehow Doesn't Involve Brett Favre
Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze is retiring from football so that he can focus on his battle against leukemia. See, if you're having trouble deciding whether or not resume a career, this is an acceptable reason....
David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Blood-Soaked Sock On 2003 Steroid List
Here we go ... Lawyers with "knowledge of the results" of MLB's 2003 steroid tests says that both Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz are among the players who tested positive for performance enhancing drugs....
R.I.P. UCLA Undie Run: 2002-2009
Citing safety concerns, UCLA administrators nixed the tri-annual tradition of students stripping down and frolicking across campus during finals week due to increased boozy half-naked fights breaking out. (PHOTO: NowPublic) [LA Times]...
Brees On Gitmo: "The Worst Thing We Can Do Is Shut That Baby Down"
Super Bowl winning quarterbacks go to Disney World, while an all-around good guy like Drew Brees scores an all-expenses-paid trip to Guantanamo Bay. Sounds dreamy, right? According to Brees, Gitmo ain't so bad....
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...