a Page 7398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Amidst Lockout, NBA Players, Executives Awkwardly Ask Each Other To Dance
Remember how when Yao Ming retired after nine years in Houston, they weren't allowed to call him or release a comment? One of the side effects of the lockout is that players can't have any contact with their teams, so we were forced to imagine Yao sitting at home, staring at the phone, not understan...
Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Court Bitchslaps Wannabe Cheerleader
This is a story of how awful high school girls are, and how petty cheerleading politics can be, and how an overbearing stage mom get take this bullshit all the way to a federal appeals court. But mostly it's the story of how satisfying it can be to see justice done, with usually staid jurists writin...
UAE Soccer Player May Be Punished For "Disrespectful"-But-Also-Awesome Backheel Penalty Kick
On Sunday, Theyab Awana, a 21-year-old winger with the United Arab Emirates national team, scored on a penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon. Only he did it off of a 180 and using his heel. UAE was up 5-2 at the time, and they ultimately won 7-2, so the stakes weren't very high for either tea...
This Bike Is Literally The Fastest Thing On Two Wheels
At a former Air Force base, Bill Warner set a new land speed record, getting his modified Suzuki Hayabusa up to just shy of 312 MPH. If you're feeling insecure about your ride, just note that Warner needed a shove to get going....
Maybe Now The Dodgers Can Officially Add Bankruptcy To The Lineup
Your morning roundup for July 19, the day we learned to stay out of the way when Real Madrid rides around in a golf cart. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
Why Everyone Wants To Marry Hope Solo
A lot of people think Hope Solo is hot, statistically speaking. That's not surprising. What is unusual is how little her perceived hotness seems to matter to those people. There seems to be less of a desire to see her in a bikini, and the fact that people find her attractive is manifesting itself i...
That Bernard Hopkins Wax Sculpture Is Taking Shape
Your p.m. roundup for July 18, the day we found out even punk rock was for sale. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
"Goodnight And Good Luck": Kevin-Costner-Owned Minor League Team's Announcer Quits On Air
Last week we brought you the peculiar odyssey of the Lake County Fielders, a minor league baseball club in Zion, Ill., owned in part by Kevin Costner. The Fielders' manager — former Blue Jays skipper Tim Johnson — resigned over team-wide pay disputes, many of its players refused to play, and the o...
Mike Tyson's Pigeons "Have The Bloodlines Of Richard The Lionheart"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Iron Mike loves his birdies....
Packers DB Sam Shields Gets Giant, Painful-Looking Super Bowl Ring Tattooed On His Neck
Super Bowl winners receive championship rings—expensive, garish things—but they're tangible. You can hang on to your triumph through karats....
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
This Is What The WWE Title Belt Looks Like In CM Punk's Fridge
There were some goings on at the WWE's "Money in the Bank" PPV last night (to catch up on the stakes, read the Masked Man's preview). Basically, CM Punk is "no longer a WWE employee," but left with the title after beating John Cena in the main event....
Zubazpalooza > MC Hammer Bobblehead Night
The long-awaited MC Hammer bobblehead night finally arrived in Oakland yesterday, and it was rather exciting for everyone involved....
Upcoming Reality Show Will Follow Sheriff's Deputy Butterbean Around
Step aside, Steven Seagal: Lawman. There's a new novelty cop in town, and, well, it's former heavyweight fighter Butterbean....
Hamburger Face Won't Keep This Tour De France Rider Down
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Old Onion dummy text, but it might make an appropriate headline for any given day at this year's Tour de France, aka DeathFrance 3000....
Meat Loaf Was My Softball Coach, And Other Amazing Stories
His name was Marvin Lee Aday, but he was better known to the world as Meat Loaf. To the scrappy group of girls he was trying to mold into softball players, he was Coach Meat. READ »...
Meat Loaf Was My Softball Coach
In 1991, I was a high school freshman in the small town of Redding, Conn. My brother was a senior, and his prom date was one of our neighbors down the street, a junior, Pearl Aday. Pearl would drive me home from softball practice when her father, our coach, was unable to. I preferred Pearl, as her d...
The Women's World Cup Final Totally Kicked The Royal Wedding's Ass In Tweets
Because one would never want to rely merely on television ratings to assess the popularity of women's sports, one must do the next best thing when one is a member of a generation of navel-gazing tech addicts: use Twitter! Oh, hooray. What ever would we do without Twitter? What ever would we do witho...
We Hope Everyone Is Prepared For The Roethlisberger Wedding
On Saturday, Big Ben settles down and becomes a one-woman man. The ceremony will be held in front of hundreds of the couple's closest friends (they will be checking IDs, so don't try anything funny or Benjamin Braddock-y) at Roethlisberger's church in suburban Pittsburgh. If you know anyone who live...