a Page 7405 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Small Child No Good At Sports, Cries; By The Way, He's In The Pros
Mauricio Baldivieso turns 13 tomorrow. As an early birthday present, his coach got him into the game for a first-division Bolivian soccer side. Did we mention the coach is his father?...

And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....

What Exactly Is Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Anyway?
Now that the people who care have had time to survey and digest the complaint against Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger, a clearer picture has emerged about the accuser and her allegations and it's not pretty. Here's an attempt to summarize:...

CBS Discusses "Serious Violation" Of Erin Andrews' Privacy By Airing Video In Which Her Privacy Is Violated
Still want to see that Erin Andrews video? One media outfit got its hairy palms on a clip and aired it this morning: CBS's Early Show....

Fox's Shepard Smith Explains McNair Case: "Dying Is Not Illegal"
Mike Florio stopped by Shepard Smith's show today to explain the Ben Roethlisberger case to Republicans, but first, Shep had to explain the Steve McNair case. Did you know that getting shot in the head is not a crime?...

Mad Dog Officially Seeking Mini Mad Dogs; Little Bow-Wows Need Not Apply
Now hiring! Chris Russo really is searching America for a talk show host for Mad Dog Radio. Requirements: thorough knowledge of the 1941 All-Star Game, the '62 Giants, Cecil B. DeMille and passion. Start primping that résumé, Mikey. [Monster.com]...

Jeremy Mayfield Likes Fire, 'Splosions
We're not saying that Jeremy Mayfield's meth-fueled race car stepmom drama makes him (and his sport) look like some sort of redneck version of Hamlet….but this video of him blowing up gas cans doesn't help....

Today In Mutton Bustin'
Hurry up, Abilene mutton-bustin' pre-teens! This weekend is your last chance to register for the Wild Bill Hickok Rodeo's sheep-riding extravaganza, also known as the ovine world's revenge for all that Shari Lewis shit. [Abilene Reflector-Chronicle]...

ESPN Breaks Its Silence On Ben Roethlisberger
Fantasy Alert: Big Ben is listed as probable for Week 1 (knee, sexual assault lawsuit.) Adjust your rosters accordingly. [ESPN]...

Look! It's Godzilla's Helmet!
"He was in great humor, which is always when he's the best, most likable Alex," Selena Roberts wrote in A-Rod. And that was before he turned a helmet into a wedding bouquet and himself into a desperate bachelorette....

Chris Berman: The Next Cronkite
In the wake of Walter Cronkite's passing, the Washington Post asked a few famous personages to "suggest public figures who meet the Cronkite standard of trustworthiness." The list is pretty much as you'd expect. Oprah, Bill Moyers, Chris Berman....

Erin Andrews And Guilt, Imagined And Otherwise
The first time I ever wrote about Erin Andrews on Deadspin was August 22, 2006. The site was nearly a year old by then....

Simmons Bids Farewell To <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>
After seven years, the Sports Fella is taking down his shingle at ESPN The Periodical. His final column is a nice tribute to his father (at left), who wrote Huck Finn. [ESPN]...

ESPN Ignoring Biggest Stories Of The Day (IMPORTANT UPDATES)
Without much trouble, you could probably puzzle out what the two most talked about stories are today....but can you also deduce why The Worldwide Leader hasn't mentioned either one? (UPDATES BELOW)...

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

Michael Vick's Next Magical Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far away, he spent 21 months in prison. Now, he might train for an NFL return at Disney's Wide World of Sports. In Disney World! Everyone's about to live happily ever after. [Sentinel]...

Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A Soldier
We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open....

Mike Shanahan Shuts His Mouth, Knows His Role
Mike Shanahan will be the highest paid coach in the NFL this season, provided he doesn't actually coach anybody. Or talk to anybody. Yes, getting fired from a high-paying job is great work if you can get it....

Mutton Wins Again
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Sexual Assault
WTAE-Pittsburgh reports that a Nevada casino employee has filed a civil lawsuit against Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, accusing him of sexual assault. His attorney denies the charge. More tomorrow, obviously, when Feel Good Story Week continues. [WTAE-TV; PFT]...