a Page 7431 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open
Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]...
With No Regard For Human Life
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....
Lenny Dykstra Has Open And Honest Communication With His Wife
This is what Dykstra's wife says he toldsent her via text message over voicemail: "From now on everything is going to be bad, the war is ready to begin and I play ... dirty!" [Ventura County Star]...
Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live
ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump....
So What Were You Doing At Age 17?
Zac Sunderland is a 17-year-old California beach bum with shoulder-length locks and fears of conformity. So he's Jimmy Clausen, except he sailed around the world by himself. Winning in Touchdown Jesus' shadow? Try navigating away from pirates, dude....
Big Leaguers Just Wanna Use Gordon Beckham's Love Tonight
Everyone wants a piece of Gordon Beckham. And by everyone, I mean, of course, the throngs of Chicago women wearing his T-shirt jersey and his fellow big leaguers who are copping his swoon-worthy at-bat music....
Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...
Le Cycling Is A Contact Sport
One woman dies when she's hit by a police motorcycle, and two riders are injured by, um, air rifle projectiles. In other news, LiveStrong tweets about the injustice of George Hincapie not winning the yellow jersey. It's a cruel world....
Want A NASCAR Press Pass? Start A Blog!
Welcome to the world of the media elite, you so-called NASCAR Citizen Journalists Media Group. No cheering in the press box, no asking for autographs, no photos with the drivers, and be careful around the professionals. They might bite....
In That Other Golf Tournament This Weekend...
Tony Romo, fresh off a breakup with his biggest fan, storms out to the lead of another celebrity get-together, while Charles Barkley is not in last. Who needs Hank Haney when you've got the modified Stableford system? [GOLF]...
And That's The Way It Is
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Erin Andrews' Attorney Speaks
Well, the mystery is solved, I guess. Yes, that was Erin Andrews on the video circulating around. Yes, they're pressing charges. The direct quote from the attorney circulating via PR newswire after the jump:...
Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....
U.S. Attorney: Barry Bonds Prosecution Is Important Because Stan Musial Smoked Cigarettes. Or Something.
Joseph Russoniello, U.S. attorney for the Northern District of California, feels very strongly about Barry Bonds and the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Why? Because Stan Musial, the Perfect Knight, turned him into a smoker, that's why....
BB Assassins Take Pot Shots At Tour de France Riders
Two riders were hit by BBs during Stage 13 of the Tour, even though lunatic cycling fans can get close enough to club their victims with baguettes. Why not give your crazy violence a more personal touch? [VeloNews]...
The One With The Half-Naked Woman Selling A Dale Murphy Pennant
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game
Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]...
I'd Rather Tweet With The Saints
It was only a matter of time before a minor league baseball team whipped up a social networking promotion, and when charged with creating a snappy name for the event, why not go with Twitter-My-Face?...
ESPN Lawyers Try To Smoke Out Creepy Amateur Peephole Videographer (Update)
Yesterday a video posted on the site NSFW POA hinted that a naked blonde woman videotaped through a hotel peephole was a popular sports personality. ESPN lawyers pounced. Maybe we should mention the woman looks like Erin Andrews....