a Page 7445 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The One Where Jay Mariotti Shows Off His Formidable Lady-Killing Technique
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....
Sandwich Salesman Breaks World Record, Consummates Stalkerish Relationship
Michael Phelps claims one of the few records he doesn't already own, breaking Ian Crocker's mark in the 100-meter butterfly. "Phelps taped Crocker's picture on his bedroom wall for motivation six years ago, after Crocker set the record." [WaPo]...
Wait, Maybe Running With Bulls Isn't Such A Great Idea?
A 27-year-old Spaniard (not pictured) was gored to death, when a 1,130-pound bull (that's him there) broke loose from the Pamplona pack and went understandably crazy. It's the first goring death at the famous bull run in 14 years....
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
NBA Playoffs + Unrelated Movie = Genius
At best it's a blunt instrument to pound LAND OF THE LOST into every NBA fan's head. At worst it's a weird attempt at subliminal persuasion. But we can all agree that those NBA Playoffs/summer movie crosspromotions are unbelievably annoying....
This Week In Terrible Music: The Cowboys’ Nu Metal Band, Plus Chickenfoot
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS!...
Nationals And Pirates Combine To Make Pretty Decent Baseball Team
Houston and Washington had some unfinished business yesterday, wrapping up a suspended game that took two months, two cities and three teams to complete. And the winning pitcher got the decision while taking a nap in Philadelphia....
Ochocinco's Forebearer Is... Justin Gimelstob?
Chad Ochocinco — né Johnson, he of no further introduction — and Justin Gimelstob, he of middling tennis stature, have more in common than what hits the eye. Actually, they really don't. But they both... like Twitter?...
Mother Nature Does not Appreciate Your Ironic Sports
A sad day in the annals of hipster athletics, as a 23 year old Brooklynite was unceremoniously pancaked by a falling tree limb during a game of dodgeball. Time to start thinking of the perfect post-modern tattoo to commemorate....
Best of the Brissed: The First and Last Deadspin Maccabiah Games Preview
Named after the Maccabee family, who vanquished the Greeks despite 6-1 odds and stingy handicapping; the Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong....
Donte' Stallworth Out Of Jail
Remember how grumpy you were when you heard that Donte' Stallworth only got 30 days in jail for DUI manslaughter? Well, he was just released after only serving 24 of them. Just in time for a three-day weekend! [ESPN]...
David Cone Will Choose Our Supreme Court
Sonia Sotomayor will go before the U.S. Senate next week to face the gauntlet that is a Supreme Court confirmation hearing. Thankfully, she will have one very powerful ally on her side—noted judicial scholar David B. Cone....
From Your Very Special Guest Editor
Last time I wrote on this page, it was with unbridled cautious optimism for Trent Edwards and the 2008 Buffalo Bills. Was I wrong? Yes and no. Well, actually, just yes....
Rich Eisen Thanks You For Your Concern About His Horninesss
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Somebody At ESPN Is Feeling Frisky And A Very Special Guest Editor Announcement
I haven't seen the Sportsnation show on ESPN yet, since I spend most of my day at the Gawker office, where television (along with sunlight, smiling, and sustained eye contact) are strictly forbidden, but this little shout-out is flattering....
Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...
Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....
Bah, He's Safe
Daniel Murphy resorts to Globetrotter trickery to help save the Mets season. This will not be enough. [ESPN]...
Finding Mustachioed Men In St. Louis Will Win You All-Star Game Tickets
The All-Star Game is rife with "bare-faced mortals," so the American Mustache Institute — bless their whiskers — is sponsoring a so-called Stache Dash. Find playing cards of mustachioed legends, win bleacher seats. No facial hair necessary. [AMI]...