a Page 7478 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Penguin Party Freakout At Mario Lemieux's Mansion
This is my favorite part about the post-NHL season is to see what wacky things the champions do with Lord Stanley's precious cup. The Penguins turned it into a pool noodle at King Mario's castle....
L.A. To Lakers: Throw Your Own Damn Parade
We all had lots of fun joking that Pittsburgh was a bankrupt urban hellscape, but at least the city could afford to throw its hockey team a victory parade. Los Angeles? They think they left their wallet in another state....
Sammy Sosa Reportedly Tested Positive For PEDs In '03. Whatever.
Sammy Sosa was among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, The New York Times is reporting, a revelation that means nothing whatsoever unless you care about Sosa's Hall of Fame chances or the Fourth Amendment....
Who Is The Lucky Pierre In This Joe Buck Live Rundown?
Last night, on The Laugh Hour with Joe Buck: Artie Lange firebombing the set, Brett Favre cursing, Ochocinco and Michael Irvin, and "Amy Sedaris' brother" in a Braylon Edwards moment. The media dissects Joe Buck:...
Great Moments In Gambling: Cleveland Seagulls Cost Man His House
Betting on a mid-June AL Central baseball game seems like a brilliant path to financial freedom, but believe it or not, there are dangers. Like a flock of birds attacking Coco Crisp and costing you a $38,000 payday....
Ohio State Fan Dots The "I" In Iranian Revolution
You've got to be kidding me. A young gentleman in Buckeye attire is now the poster child for freedom in Iran. Let's just hope the Revolutionary Guard doesn't recruit in Florida. [Photo: Oliver Laban-Mattei/AFP/Getty Images]...
Dead Solid Perfect, In 140 Words Or Less
The greatest sportswriter ever, Dan Jenkins his ownself, is tweeting the U.S. Open, his 200th major! Fast copy, indeed! "As my first boss, Blackie Sherrod, enjoyed saying, 'Stop feelin' up that story, and get the damn thing in here.'" [Twitter]...
Injured, Indicted Wide Receiver Would Like More Money
Denver's Brandon Marshall, whose offseason started with hip surgery and will end with a trial for domestic battery, thinks now would be an excellent time to demand a trade. Who wouldn't want to add those intangibles to their roster? [850KOA]...
Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....
Well, Artie Lange Has One Fan In The Sports Media That Still Loves Him
Linda Cohn lets the anti-Buck, Long Islanduh side show. I wonder if she was also a fan of the "Butt Bongo Fiesta" videos? [Cohnheadfans]...
Would You Like To Buy A Car From Ed O'Bannon?
This is an interesting Sunday profile of former UCLA star Ed O'Bannon. Interesting, because you could probably substitute "Ed O'Bannon" for the name of any athlete coming to terms with his fading glory and it's pretty much the same article....
How The Cardinals Could Lose Albert Pujols
I'm not sure people realize how possible it is that Albert Pujols won't be a Cardinal in three years. And every day, every loss, every solo Pujols homer, makes it a little more likely to happen....
Detroit Just Can't Catch A Break
A Game 7 loss, a series dropped to the Pirates, now Bill Laimbeer—the greatest coach in WNBA history!—is stepping down. He will be replaced by Rick Mahorn, who will eventually be replaced by Chuck Nevitt. [Free Press]...
Nice Knowing You, Loud Tennis Grunter People
Tennis fans have enough crazy to distract them — crazy fans, crazy parents, Damir Dokic — so it makes complete sense for the International Tennis Federation to consider further penalizing the plain-old crazy grunters....
Donte Stallworth Makes Plea Deal In DUI Manslaughter Case (UPDATE)
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has reportedly reached an agreement with prosecutors and will plead guilty to DUI manslaughter charges later today. Terms have not been announced, but he is expected to serve jail time. (30 days. Update below.)...
Joe Buck's Phony Outrage Over Joe Buck's Show
Ignore all the pretend handwringing today. Artie Lange gave last night's Joe Buck Dry Humor And Sporting Chit-Chat Extravaganza exactly what it wanted. Something that could be manufactured into a controversy, and something about which Joe Buck could be virtuous....
Fat-Bottomed Romo Now More Sleek
According to a report in the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, Cowboys coach Jason Garrett lovingly told quarterback Tony Romo that his butt was too big to be a good finisher this season. Too much cake? [Uwe Blog]...
Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
Even if your cable package went out last night, you've probably heard about the rather tepid debut of "Joe Buck Live." Tepid, until Howard Stern joke monkey Artie Lange destroyed everything Joe Buck holds dear on live television....
ESPN Attempts To Spike College World Series Ratings With Sideline Princess Fanny-Cam
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...