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Al Trautwig Is Worried About Amar'e Stoudemire's Bulging Dick
Every time an athlete comes down with a bulging disc, we start the countdown. It took MSG's Al Trautwig but a few hours to make the inevitable slip-up....

Tennis Player Wanted Own Father Removed From Match For Being A Pain In The Ass
Bernard Tomic is 19 years old. He's currently the 36th-ranked men's tennis player in the world, and the top-ranked player in Australia. Until now, he was perhaps best known in this part of the world for a bizarre standoff he had with police in January....

Marshawn Lynch Will Star Alongside Gary Busey And Lee Majors In Cowboy-Themed Movie
The Pacific Northwest is a weird place. We stay away from Portlandia and the like because we know there are strange happenings afoot....

The Marlins' Home Run Sculpture Is The Whirling, Flashing, Spouting Heart Of Baseball At Its Best
Tacky! Boy, is that new kinetic sculpture beyond the Marlins’ outfield fence tacky. Tacky like their tacky new uniforms are tacky. Tacky like the Miami Marlins’ tackily alliterative revised name, highlighting the tacky metropolis they call home. ...
![A Jaguars Beat Writer Spent Friday Night In Jail After Allegedly Berating Cops At A Bar (And On The Phone) [UPDATE: Tania Freed!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17hnxnpr7hr2ijpg.jpg)

If You Think Andrew Bogut Is Injury-Prone, He Thinks You're "Uneducated"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bogut, out for the season, says it's just a chain of freak accidents....

The Atlanta Hawks' Mascot Was "In Bad Shape" After Smashing His Beak On The Rim During A Dunk Stunt
Atlanta mascot Harry the Hawk Sky Hawk was feeling it in the beak after this stunt went wrong during last night's game against Utah. Reader James sent this in, noting that while the mascot appears to return to the floor to finish the routine, it's almost certainly a backup they keep for such circ...

According To ESPN, Baylor Has Recruited The NBA's Next All-Time Leading Scorer
Baylor may have missed the Final Four this year, but there's good news for the Bears on the recruiting front, according to ESPN's RecruitingNation. Unbelievably good news:...

Gentlemen, Please Stop Crushing Vaginas
I was hanging out with a friend yesterday, and at some point during our conversation, we both agreed that the epidemic of American brosephs "crushing" and "killing" things has gotten way out of hand....

The Goldman Sachs-y Group Behind The London Olympics Is Making Torchbearers Buy Their Own Torches
As the 2012 Olympics draw near, our London correspondent will be filing semi-regular dispatches on life, culture, and Sport from the Big Smoke....

The Brooklyn Dodgers Did Not Mind If You Photographed Their Pubes And Asses
At least for the A's and Mariners in Tokyo, Opening Day is early Wednesday morning. With the return of baseball comes the return of casual nudity, an inescapable fact of locker rooms since the days before the West Coast had teams....

Six Sandwiches More Fitting Than The Carnegie Deli's New Tebow Sandwich
The Village Voice's intrepid Robert Sietsema taste-tested the 3.3-pound Tebow Sandwich at the Carnegie Deli. It's roast beef, corned beef, pastrami, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo on white bread. Wrote Sietsema, "What a way to ruin good pastrami and corned beef. They were warm, but the r...

How A Career Ends: Uwe Blab Tried And Failed To Price Himself Out Of Basketball
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Uwe Blab, the 7-foot German import who manned the pivot for the Indiana Hoosiers in the early 1980s....

The Broncos Took A Smaller Trade Haul Just To Make Tim Tebow Happy
We learned two things about Tim Tebow and Jacksonville today. First, that he pronounces his hometown team's name "Jagwires," and second, that it's absolutely true the Broncos let him choose his destination. He chose the Jets, and the Broncos shipped him to Jersey, despite the Jaguars offering a bett...

How Tebow-To-The-Jaguars Fell Apart, And Why That's A Good Thing
Lots of amateur Darren Rovells got cranky last week when Tim Tebow went to the Jets instead of the Jaguars. They said the Jags had erred in not trumping the Jets' offer to acquire the hometown prince, who would have been good for attendance or jersey sales or something. Hogwash....

Tim Tebow Waited 16 Minutes And 40 Seconds To Mention Jesus At Today's Press Conference
Tim Tebow's New York Jets debutante ball is over, and while he (reliably) avoided saying much of anything interesting, doing a quick analysis of the press conference transcript (via closed captioning) may provide some clues as to how the quarterback (?) will adapt to the New York media sphere. ...

Bristolmetrics: Dick Vitale Said "Baby" A Mere 14 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em> Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenterthroughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Sean Payton Asks Bill Parcells To Coach The Saints For A Year
ESPN reports that Sean Payton has floated the idea that Bill Parcells could be the Saints' placeholder coach while Payton serves his one-year suspension. Parcells is something of a mentor to Payton, so the two have been talking a lot recently, with Payton needing a big Tuna-y shoulder to cry on. But...

After Signing A $7.8-Million Contract With The Mets, R.A. Dickey Bought A Minivan He Calls "The Millenium Falcon"
"A Star Wars aficionado, R.A. Dickey calls the minivan their Millennium Falcon. His wife calls it 'our big splurge' after he inked his $7.8 million contract with the Mets last winter." He's the best. [The Star-Ledger, image via Getty]...