a Page 7513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

YouTube: Where Enjoyable Parodies Happen
I solemnly swear never to get sick of these send-ups of the NBA's "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?" commercials....

If You Ban It, They Won't Come
"It" being "unlimited beer." This, and six other cogent reasons why this year's Preakness might be Baltimore's last....

Good Luck Charm From Girl In Hospital Helps Yanks Win
Here's a nice backstory to the Yankees' comeback win over Minnesota yesterday. Seems Brett Gardner's inside-the-park home run in the seventh was preordained....

Here's The Video From Corie Blount's Sentencing Hearing
Complete with the judge's "Cheech and Chong" line (starting at the 0:50 mark) that gave Chris McKendry quite the case of the giggle fits....

Rookie Millionaire Versus Obsessive Super Fan - Who Ya Got?
Last Wednesday, Marlins' rookie Chris Coghlan hit his first career homerun. He didn't anticipate trouble getting the ball back. Then again, he also didn't anticipate it being caught by professional ballhawk "THE HAPPY YOUNGSTER"!...

Manchester United Secures Third Straight Premier League Title
A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong....

NFL Recognizes Chad Johnson's Name Change, With Unsurprising Annoying Bureaucratic Twist
The good news for Johnson: the NFL will let him wear his new name on his jersey this year. The bad news? Because of some careless form-filling, it won't appear quite as he'd like....

Michael Phelps Wins First Two Races in Return, Has a Goatee
He easily took the 200-freestyle and 100-butterfly at the Charlotte Ultraswim, and has a chance for another three way wins this weekend. By the time London 2012 rolls around, I'll bet he's sporting full dreadlocks....

Phillies Visit White House
Are they saying "boo" or "Boo-rack"? Get it? Because people from Philly are always booing stuff!...

Bills' Hall-of-Famer Bruce Smith Charged With DUI
All Bills' bad behaviour, all the time! The all-time sacks leader was pulled over and arrested early Friday in Virginia Beach, Virginia....

Bills' Fullback Arrested on Charge of Exposing Sexual Organs
Urgent bulletin! New York City's public masturbation epidemic is spreading Northwards across the state!...

Wake Up In The Morning, Your Alarm Gives Out a Warning...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Ted Nugent Would Kill You If He Could
Whatever political side you hang your coonskin hat on, you may or may not think hunting is a sport. But Ted Nugent, righty rockstar and murderer of many woodland creatures, is always an enjoyable interview....

Manny Apologizes To Teammates For Ruining Their Season
The AP's source in the locker room described Ramirez as being "uncomfortable" during the meeting. Still, handshakes and bro-hugs were plentiful after he spoke. [AP]...

Rick Telander Defends Ryan Theriot Against Rick Telander's Steroid Accusations, All Hell Breaks Loose
Here, courtesy of Rick Telander and his colleagues in the Chicago sports media, is a nice little primer on how to whip up a good old-fashioned hysteria out of nothing whatsoever....

Red Sox Fans Still Waiting On David Ortiz
He should break out of this slump any day now. Yup ... any ... day now. [Major League Jerk]...

Deadspin Classic: North Dakota's Nazi-Loving Alumni Donor
Deadspin's archives go far deeper than you probably suspect. Occasionally, we like to revisit these timeless stories and remember the internet the way it was before it existed. Introducing Deadspin Classic.......

Watch Charles Barkley Hit A Man In The Neck With A Golf Ball
Memo to celebrity golf tournament spectators: stand at least two miles away from Barkley when he steps up to the tee. [TotalProSports]...

Great. We Still Don't Know If This Logo Is Racist Or Not.
A federal appeals court just sank a coup de grace through a 17-year-old lawsuit claiming the Redskins logo is offensive. Naturally, the judges left unanswered the question of whether the logo is, in fact, offensive....

A NYC Subway Jacker Was Nabbed (Update)
Could 41-year-old Daniel Corrian be the man who rubbed against that poor girl on the D train? Either that, or there is a subway masturbation epidemic gripping the city. (Update: Not him!) [NYDN]...