Ted Nugent Would Kill You If He Could

Whatever political side you hang your coonskin hat on, you may or may not think hunting is a sport. But Ted Nugent, righty rockstar and murderer of many woodland creatures, is always an enjoyable interview.

In addition to Bambi, the Motorcity Madman considers those meddlesome, weed-smokin' hippies also his mortal enemies. Phoenix New Times writer Martin Cizmar interviewed El Nuge about some of his various political views and the conversation quickly devolved into insults and face-smacking threats when Cizmar suggested Rush Limbaugh was a drug addict. Uh oh.

UP: Well, look at Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh is a substance abusing criminal. TN: Really?

UP: He was. He was hooked on oxycodone.

TN: You're one of those guys that's going to try to equate rush Limbaugh with meth heads?

UP: No, but he was illegally using drugs.

TN: He had a prescription drug problem for a period of time. But, in the final analysis, is Rush in the asset column or the liability column. Did he learn from his mistakes or didn't he?

UP: I don't know. I don't know him.

TN: You call yourself as journalist and you don't know that?

UP: I don't know him personally, I don't know where he is personally.

TN: I think it's universally known that Rush beat that demon. And he's been on the law-abiding side for many more years than he was on the law-breaking side... but to compare Rush's blink of and eye stumble to the drug culture. Martin, I gotta tell you, when I see you I'm going to have slap the shit out of you. I'll buy you a mocha, then I'll knee-cap you. Because that is so soulless. What a far-reaching fantasy...

"I'll buy you a mocha, then I'll knee-cap you" is the new "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang." Alright. Enough of me.

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Tomorrow: Gourmet Spud and His Army Of Big Ol' Beavers From Banff will help you survive the Saturday afternoon duldrums. Sunday: Idiot Barking Dog.

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