a Page 7775 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Afternoon Blogdome: LA Times Writer Bill Plaschke Is Much More Tolerable With A Mouthful Of Penis
• This probably won't be discussed on Around The Horn: LA Times writer Bill Plaschke and Chicago Tribune writer Kevin Pang sample the elegant penis cuisine of Beijing. So, if you've ever been so incensed by Plaschke's writing and wished he would just "eat a big bowl of penis," congratulations — it c...
Lakers Agree to Terms With "Chinese Magic Johnson"
The Chinese Magic Johnson's name is Sun Yue and he's a 6'9 Chinese point guard who is also fond of colorful sweaters, creating his own words that don't exist while speaking, and smiling no matter how serious the occasion. The Lakers drafted Sun in the second round of the 2007 draft, and the Eastern ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "For best Olympic torch-lighting moment, I'd have to go with the '94 Lillehammer Games." — Yanks_Jets_Knicks4lifePrevious ESPN Featured Comment of the Week, plus a Fea...
Hugh Hefner Goes to Madden Launch Parties?
And they serve Madden-tinis there? Whoever came up with that concept needs to be forced to watch the entire season ofTell Me You Love Me without the sex scenes. Look, I play video games. Occasionally I get to have sex. But have we really gotten to the point where sex and video games are wedded this...
Settle Down Everyone; There's No Manny Probe
The Boston Globe reported today that Bud Selig was ordering an investigation into the Manny Ramirez trade; specifically looking at allegations that agent Scott Boras orchestrated the whole thing. But no, gun-jumpers; no soup for you. Selig said that he just had a couple of follow-up questions, and t...
Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...
Kobe Bryant Says He'd Go to Italy For $50 Million
Not content to allow LeBron James to sweep up all the attention for his leaked interest in going overseas for $50 million, Kobe Bryant stepped into the fray yesterday from Beijing. Telling The Boston Globe that he'd go to Italy for $50 million a year. You know, sooner or later the NBA brass might ha...
Reporter Doused By Blue-Painted Cubs Fan Outside Wrigley Field
Molly Dapier was doing freelance reporting for mouthpiece sports outside Wrigley Field. She's a tall, attractive blond reporter who appears to be minding her own business. Unbeknownst to her, however, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint decided that he needed to dump a cooler full of w...
Shocking Indecency, Kiss Cams And The Natural Aphrodisiac That Is Peyton Manning
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Ohio University Lineman Wins $250k in Lottery
Mike Eynon, a 6'3 305 pound senior lineman, walked into a BP just off campus and emerged with a winning ticket. As befits life as an indentured servant to the NCAA, one of his first telephone calls was to the campus compliance officer to ensure that winning the award didn't violate NCAA rules. He go...
San Diego Padres Owner Loses Owner's Box After Wife Files For Divorce
At least for April, May, June, and July. Which given the Padres start to the season was probably a blessing in disguise. Now John Moores is fighting to regain custody of the box. (Yeah, I know.) But his wife doesn't want to give up the box. (Ditto.) And the attorneys are up in arms trying to equita...
Morning Blogdome: Jay Buhner Only Feels Complete When He's Shaving The Heads Of Elderly Women
• He will cut you: "The Everett Aqua Sox of the Northwest League must have gotten similar complaints because today they are giving out free “Buhner Buzz Cuts” by none other then Jay Buhner himself. This was an old promotion in Seattle when he played there in the 90’s (although I don’t think he actua...
Manny Mania Grips Los Angeles
New item at the Dodgers Pro Shop beginning next week: Dodger hat with attached dreadlocks. (This is true). So much for Joe Torre's request that Manny Ramirez get a haircut; that's the last thing Frank McCourt wants to see happen now that his team is making scratch off of its big acquisition. Reason ...
Sad Old Man Greets The Jets With Lukewarm Enthusiasm
Yesterday's meet-the-newest-Jet press conference with Brett Favre gave the 38-year-old quarterback some glimpse of the intense scrutiny he'll be under the entire year he dons green and white. But considering he couldn't do anything for the last 32 days without an ESPN reporter following him to the c...
"Get To The Wicked, Buy You A Ticket, Goooo!"
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....
Favre Fever Grips Manhattan
Of course, I know how it feels. But that still doesn't in anyway preclude anyone in Manhattan from punching them if they start Brett!Brett!Brett!-ing throughout the city. This individual was spotted walking along 3rd Avenue and 41st a little after 4 p.m. today. He must be stopped. The camo shorts ar...
Watch Patrick And Olbermann Make An Awkward Attempt At Recapturing Chemistry Tonight
Even though Jason Whitlock (and plenty of others) think the re-teaming of Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick is a colossally bad idea, I'm still hopeful. At the very least, some of the magical glib that made them so good the first time around must still be around, right? Hopefully, the media powerhouse...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while eating your Mafia Salad ... • Little League Baseball: Southwest regional final, Richmond, Texas vs. Lake Charles, La., at Waco, Texas (9 p.m., ET). These poor kids have been playing baseball since April. Enough! [ESPN2] • NFL preseason: New Orleans at Arizona (8 p.m., ET). Why no...
A Quick Word On Tomorrow's (Today's, For Us) Opening Ceremony
The Olympics begin tomorrow and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see, O...
Beef Queen Vs. Lettuce Lady: The Final Conflict
Showing an uncharacteristic sense of humor about itself, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has thrown down the leafy, fibrous gauntlet, challenging the newly-crowned Missouri Beef Council's Beef Queen, Meagan Webb, to fight their own Lettuce Lady in a tofu wrestling match. But we would adv...